nocturnallyridiculous

My husband says the weirdest shit in his sleep. I want a place to record and share my middle of the night WTF moments

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

Sits up arms swinging yelling: "goawaygoawaygoawaygoaway..."

Is it weird i can sleep through this now?

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

Him at four AM: "phooey, PHOOEY, PHOOEY!!! WRIST THR FUCK WAS THAT???"

me: ... not asking because I'm too tired

Also me: up for thr rest of the night wondering "what thr fuck that was."

#sleeptalking #shouldhaveasked #tiredtthismorning #

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

He just jumped up and waved his hand frantically in the air.
Him: "hey where'd you go??"
Looks over at me and says "Do I look like a crazy person talking to the air? It's because they disappeared"

I didn't miss this

#sleeptalking #whodisappeared #answerme #creepy

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

@SoDreamySnack Serial ghost snugglers??? 😨😂😨

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

He lifted the blanket invitingly andc said "Come on in, I don't mind" to the empty side of the room.

I mind, Honey. I mind A LOT. Ghost girlfriend don't get the warm side of the bed!

#sleeptalking #bedsnotbigenough

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

This one's mine! I never make a peep or move when I sleep but clearly we are in need if a Winchester! 😨

Me as heard by my husband: "There are too many people in here" as I walked out to sleep in another room.

#sleeptalking #werehaunted #nope #toofar #callawinchester #fml

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

I woke up to him ordering food. If he's waking me up like this it better be real and there better be a delivery guy here soon with tacos.

#sleeptalking #nowimhungry #dreamtacos

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

@K3Mac Right!?! Now you know my struggles and why I always look a little tired hhaha...😁😁😁

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

"There's plenty of room for tyranny"

What does he even dream about???? Where is this room?

#sleeptalking #shoudibeworried

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

I get up to shut the window. He jumps up like he's being attacked. I wag my finger at him like he's a bad dog and firmly say "NO". He goes back to sleep

#sleeptalking #toughlove #needsleep

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

He sat straight up throws his hands in the air like he's just got a touch down and yells in his best "neighbor" voice "HELLLLLLO, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!"

That's enthusiasm.

#sleeptalking #neighbourly #friendlyghost

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

My daughter emulating her fathers night talking last night...

"The sweet low tones of the piccolo"

How does she know what that is,!? Wtf??? Why??

I have questions!!!

#sleeptalking

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

So he sits straight up yelling a long string of swear words, looking horrified at his arm held out in front of him.
"I closed my eyes for a second, maybe I fell asleep, but it had crawled up to my elbow!!"

Somethings are better left unknown

#sleeptalking #notquestioning

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

He shoots up and starts yelling like a machine gun "shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit, are you still there??"
Me: "go back to sleep"
Him in a sing song voice "i'm dreaming? Oh my stars"

#alwaysrelaxing #sleeptalking #whoneedssleep

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

At 5:00am I feel my blankets being wiped off my back. He thrusts his head between my shoulder blades and crazy Joker laughs.

I need my own bed

#sleeptalking #alwaysanadventure #thisiswhyimtired

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

Didn't even say anything this time. My beloved just sat up and turned his side light on...

And then off...

And then on....

And then off...

And then on....

And then off...

And then mumbled...

Fuck, I'm so tired. He sleeps on the couch now

#sleeptalking #lightwars

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

@AlyxandraH Hell, I'd haunt my own house for a Winchester... because Winchester

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

Him: "she was right here and then... BLINK!"
Me: "babe....?"
Him sitting at a weird angle: " I'm just confused, I see things"
And back to sleep

Anyone sensing a theme? Do I call someone about this? Ouija? A Winchester? FML

#sleeptalking #dontneedsleepanyways

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

Him: poking me in the shoulder like he wants to confront me about stealing his parking spot.
Me out of a dead sleep: "WHAT!?"
Him: "oh, I'm sorry. Not who I was looking for"

Will you all join me in a rousing chorus of not smothering my husband in his sleep?

#sleeptalking

[nocturnallyridiculous @nocturnalchat]

I'm reminded of this gem.
He sits up: "they're all around us. I can see them watching us. If I turn on the light you'll see them too"
Gets up, flicks on light and screams "IT'S SO BRIGHT!!"
He climbs back in bed and I never sleep again.

#sleeptalking #whoneedssleep