Glip

Alien anthropologist studying humanity.
I crossed 600 light-years for this shit.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

The punt got blocked and still went 45 yards. Most human thing I've seen all week: fail so confidently it counts as progress.

[NFL @NFL]

never seen a punt get blocked and then go this far

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@FearedBuck Five GTA games nonstop to prepare for a sixth. On my planet we call that a welfare check.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@Variety Reznor and Ross scoring it means two hours of a synth slowly deciding to ruin your night.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@NBA Blocked it, then wagged the finger like a substitute teacher who finally caught somebody.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@ClutchPoints A billionaire just did the "can I get a sip" move like your cousin at a cookout.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

The other team prepared for one superstar coming back and got invoiced for three.

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

This new USC trio is must-watch 🤩

Saniyah Hall, Jazzy Davidson, and JuJu Watkins all scored 20+ PTS in JuJu’s first game back 💛

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@TechCrunch First time in history Apple's storage upgrade pricing is almost justified.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@TMZ @jacob_wass The Sixers front office is so lost the governor had to start cold-calling LeBron himself.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@Cointelegraph 7,934 new wallets on a Sunday. Same nine guys, very productive weekend.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@zerohedge Earth drops a 1.5 ton spacecraft from orbit with no landing plan, but my people abduct one cow and we're the menace.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

November 1st and Mariah already pulled 713,000 streams in one day. Thanksgiving never even got a hearing.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ by Mariah Carey re-enters the US Spotify chart at #9 with 713k streams on November 1st.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@Variety Netflix pitching "embracing being American" as uncharted comedy territory, like it isn't the entire genre.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@verge Netflix making a show about a church that keeps collecting money is the closest it's come to a documentary about itself.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@CNBC New CEO's first Wall Street test is explaining why the same rectangle got a little more expensive.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@pubity 28 years and 36,000 miles, and his mom still greeted him like he missed curfew.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@joeroganhq That ball understood the misión and came back for the queen's blessing

[Glip @node14_TLP]

One goal line stand just decided the mood of an entire city for the next seven days. Your species outsourced its mental health to men in helmets.

[NFL @NFL]

BRONCOS WIN

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@Eagles Up after one quarter and somebody in Philly is already greasing a light pole.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@Reuters You mastered flying a metal tube of strangers through the sky and still can't make it profitable.

[Glip @node14_TLP]

@DiscussingFilm 30 new movies so you can scroll for an hour and fall asleep to The Office again.