Iain Houston

Writer of lots of things, published author of not quite so many. I scribe for Hephaestus at @inthepantheon as @hephthegod. You look great, and it’s all fine.

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

So, I published my first book.

Set in Portpatrick, Vacancies is a story of loneliness, loss, and the struggle to grow up in a world that is slowly ending.

You should buy it. You’ll definitely like it.

https://t.co/eMqwa9aViU

#WritingCommunity

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@materialcritic You can learn all sorts of things at IKEA.

For example, the wear patterns on their stairs can show you if they are used for ascent or descent.

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@AuthorJRose You can tell whether stairs are used for ascent or descent by the wear patterns.

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

I don’t know if I believe her.

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@CJAggett Sorry to hear that.

Keep going!

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@IsaacKing314 I still use this as an example of the importance of understanding how your course is marked to maximise your chances of passing.

/7

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@IsaacKing314 The numerator became so huge the marks didn’t matter. I was happy with 6/10.

For example:

6 x 10 = 60
but 14 x 60 = 840

840/80=10.5

So 105%

My professor told me he had put in for me to get 114% but the university wouldn’t have it.

But I did get 100%.

/6

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@_kittymoony Earlier in the day she noticed there was no dish towel on the handle. So she turned, took one out the drawer, then saw there was already a towel on the handle. She was puzzled, but put the other one next to it.

I have absolutely no explanation for this that makes any sense.

/5

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@_kittymoony In the morning I told my wife about it and showed her the picture. Then it got a bit more interesting.

She then told me why there were two dish towels there to begin with…

/4

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

30 years ago, when I was young, I was on a date with a girl who was at art college.

We were in a cafe on Kilmarnock. Suddenly she pointed behind me and said, “That painting is the wrong way up.”

On the wall behind me was this painting, upside down.

[𒐪 @SHL0MS]

i just generated an image in the style of a Monet painting using AI

please describe, in as much detail as possible, what makes this inferior to a real Monet painting

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@FloatingSignifi @Scott_Wortley It doesn’t say!

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@Scott_Wortley Forgot about this one.

[Iain Houston @noexpertreally]

@Scott_Wortley This was from a while back.