noface

there's nothing worth knowing

[noface @nofaceted]

sometimes you feel that absence more likes a nawing at your insides, ticking, waiting, until I burst and I'm left as just plastic around decaying organs

[noface @nofaceted]

I'm so scared of people dying and me not being there,like that I'll far away and having fun while my last chance to see them is slipping away,i-, it feels wrong,like I'm doing them an injustice

[noface @nofaceted]

I sit here and I think: if my mother's not here why am i? Over and over again, for years, it doesn't stop, nothing good the hole, all the distractions don't distract enough.

[noface @nofaceted]

He keeps looking at me like I'm the sun

[noface @nofaceted]

out of pure kindness - the thrillseaking, the need to run away, to leave the people the passersby of the pain, because they're only temporary, but your pain, and its growth,it's sweet consumption of you and everything you were and did, ever enjoyed, is forever...seemingly.

[noface @nofaceted]

ever think that your pain is invisible? Thaat you can feel it threading itself into each pour, bone,muscle and crevice -you feel it react when you move, it creeks and re-establishes itself at each turn, evolves into a new backbone for your skeletal one, -

[noface @nofaceted]

not a puppet, just too used to the heavy anchored shadow that follows you, even in the sun. Sometimes you follow it, because chasing lows is easier than them chasing you, it's a new type of fear and anticipation that your friend the pain gave you. Pain gives you gifts like that,

[noface @nofaceted]

I never wanted to do my whole life without my mother, no one asked me, I don't I don't I don't

[noface @nofaceted]

to know how fleeting life, how it is owed to no one and yet not know what to do with your own, to speed it up or slow it down or entwine your own with others evermore... Is to have broken wings, know they will mend but not know how or when while others fly without worry or fear

[😎 @okthenkefe]

Nah but I remember last year I went with my cousin to pick up her man from his Christmas party and he was hoooooorsed. I noticed this one chick tryna be the calm to his storm that night trying to get him to relax. I told her to kick back and find someone else’s husband.

[noface @nofaceted]

arteries are unravelling like my mortal coil but within my swelling then bursting organs as they expand from the pressure and atmosphere, I'm a time bomb, every inch of me and I'm ticking.

[noface @nofaceted]

Floating in space in a bad dark I slowly can't breath type of way, moving slow, thinking slow, everything is the same, the view never changes, I'm drifing into oblivion, I'm going to implode, my skins itching,bc it's going to peel away, then the next layer, each of my veins and

[noface @nofaceted]

i think this is what dying feels like

[noface @nofaceted]

are you just waiting for me to not be mad anymore?

[noface @nofaceted]

the last?

[noface @nofaceted]

thee things that no one says when your mother dies is that after that you stop being belong to someone because when do not feel that owe you anything everything that they've ever given to you is gift, you should be grateful for the fear that thhe gave you andd the flinches, you

[noface @nofaceted]

she wanted to belong to the people that she should but didn't but truly belonged to boys and a woman that could never hug her again, that didn't know that the last hug was the last hug, which is what she had got even less of from the boys. Was the last suggestion of a hug really

[noface @nofaceted]

soon there won't be anything left, where maybe there was nothing before there will be even less of what I supposed was nothing but was maybe alittle of the edge of something. There will be a gap in a hole where I once was, if I was ever there to begin with.