Bone

MO👉🏼AL👉🏼FL

[Derrico Henrio @derrico_henrio]

Brits: “Oi bruv why does this Wawld Cop have to be played in stewpid Amoorica”

Some German dudes driving through the heart of the American South:

[Josh Pate @JoshPateCFB]

17 more Saturdays⏳

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Went to my son's career day yesterday

The teacher said each parent gets 3 minutes

I asked if there was a hard stop or if this was more of a "suggested timeline"

She said 3 minutes

The dad before me was a firefighter. The kids loved it. He brought a helmet. Let them try it on. Very theatrical.

My son whispered "don't worry, you're going to do great."

I wasn't worried. I brought a pitch deck. Objects aligned perfectly horizontally and vertically.

14 slides. One appendix. Two scenario analyses. A waterfall chart I stayed up until 11pm simplifying so a 5 year old could follow the value creation framework.

Slide one: "What is a CFO."
Slide two: "What is EBITDA."
Slide three: "Why EBITDA matters."
Slide four: "Why adjusted EBITDA matters more."

I lost the room at slide one.

One kid asked if I help people. I said I help companies become more efficient. He asked if that means I fire people. I said no, we right-size.

He started crying.

The teacher stepped in. Said maybe we could do a Q&A instead. Great pivot. Very collaborative.

A girl in the front row asked what I make. I said Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint decks. She said "my mom makes cupcakes." Different verticals.

My son stood up and said "my dad makes companies worth more money so the people who own them can sell them for a lot of money."

Dead silence.

The teacher said "that's... one way to describe it."

My son said "it's the only way to describe it."

I have never been more proud of anything in my entire life.

I told him that in the car. He said "thanks, can we get Chick-fil-A."

My son asked if the expense was tax deductible.

One could argue I'm teaching my son more than the teacher.

We got Chick-fil-A.

Plz fix. Thx.

Sent from my iPhone

[Josh Pate @JoshPateCFB]

James Spann has been live since 8:30pm

The sun is about to come up

[Roger Ledbetter @rledbetterCPA]

Teaching my daughter about payroll withholding

She did chores all week so I owe her $10

I hand her $7

> this isn't $10

"right, I withheld the rest"

> what does that mean

"I kept $3 of your money"

> but it's my money

"It was your money"

> what are you even doing with it?

"Funding household infrastructure"

> what

"The roof over your head. The hallway you walk through to get to the bathroom. The door locks that keep strangers out"

> you're charging me for the hallway

"I'm charging you for access to the hallway. The hallway itself was a capital expenditure"

> you're my dad. you're supposed to---

"I'm also your government"

> what if I don't want to pay for the hallway

"Then I can't guarantee the hallway"

> it's a hallway. It's already there

"For now"

She asks what else the $3 covers

"Meals, dispute resolution, nightlight maintenance"

> dispute resolution?

"When your brother takes your toys and I make him give them back. That's taxpayer funded"

> that's just parenting

"That's the Department of Justice"

> what about meals. You already feed me

"That's a social program. Not everyone qualifies"

> I'm your daughter

"Which is why you're currently enrolled"

She wants to see where the money goes

I tell her that would require a FOIA request

> what's that

"A form asking me to show you what I do with your money. Processing time is 6 to 8 weeks"

> 6 weeks to see where my $3 went?

"Could be longer. We're understaffed"

> there's two of you

She asks how she gets any of it back

"It's already spent"

> you spent my money already?

"We had a budget shortfall"

> you just took it 20 seconds ago

"And the deficit existed 30 seconds ago. The timing worked out"

> so I'm not getting it back

"I didn't say that. You might qualify for a refund"

> of my own money

"Correct. You just have to fill out a form telling me how much you made"

> you know how much I made. You paid me

"Right but I need you to tell me how much I paid you"

> so you already know the answer

"The point is compliance"

She asks what happens if she gets the number wrong

"Penalty"

> from the money I don't have because you already spent it?

"We could set up a payment plan"

> I'm 8

"Monthly installments. Very manageable"

> you're going to penalize me for getting wrong a number you already know and then make me pay you back with money you took from me

"Now you're getting it"

> I want to talk to mom

"Mom's not a qualified representative. She can't help you here"

She stormed off to her room saying how this is extortion

Slammed the door

That's my little citizen

I've never been more proud

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

Fine I’ll weigh in

Canada:
-Maple leaves
-Zero national championships
-Zero Dollars General

Alabama:
-Beautiful kudzu covering every inch
-18 to 27 national championships depending on the bumper sticker of the truck you’re behind on 20/59
-Dollar General on every corner

[Nathan Grella @NathanGrella]

One Shining Moment but make it about Bowl Season 2025

[Joe Gaither @JoeGaither6]

"Aint found a way to kill me yet"

Alabama football plays "Rooster" by Alice in Chains at football practice on Monday

[Oatmeal Pies And Skill Guys @kfranklin254]

A spaceship could land on the sidelines and abduct Ty and I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised

[Bone @nolan_bone]

Wish you were here @JoshPateCFB

[William Galloway @Wm_Galloway]

Ryan Grubb on that 2 point conversion

[Saban Field at Bryant-Denny Stadium @BryantDenny_UA]

“Dad, how good was the Rydeout Era?”

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

A story in 4 parts

College football rocks @BarstoolOKST

[kelsey sutton @kelseytsutton]

there are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see

[Unnecessary Roughness @UnnecRoughness]

We’ll miss you Coach Gundy 🫡

[Chuck Naso @ChuckNaso]

Got my son a recliner for football season