John T

We have enough, thank you.

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@hbomax show me the same Sewell advertisement one more f time and I will unsubscribe forever

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@elenacute01 TRASH

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@tdubinyoface @livmoods AD not a sore loser but you are

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@ChuckCallesto @528vibes Is that…oh wow, it is! That’s Jerry Garcia!

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@dynasty1st @PFF @C_AdamskiTrib Tarps lol good one

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

The Nuggets are breakin' out the brooms in their sweep of the Lakers 🧹

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@nikolaesthetic @xxxsosa27 @HarrisonWind Yeah it’s almost like he’s more valuable

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@MarkJonesESPN 🤡

[John T @nomoorejohns]

Today I wrote a program in Python to automatically sign me up for open mics in Dallas. I’m now the CTO of stand-up.

[John T @nomoorejohns]

Flares are just fireworks that are using their inside voices

[John T @nomoorejohns]

Of all the instruments someone could just pick up and play, I find the accordion to be the most impressive.

[John T @nomoorejohns]

The Old Testament God was like ‘90s NBA. Not this New Testament shooter’s God.

[Tom Murphy @TomMurphyTweets]

How journalists jump through hoops explaining to their parents that their careers are worthwhile even though it consistently takes a toll on their mental health and bank account…. https://t.co/M2Y9FvHMph

[John T @nomoorejohns]

Southwest life hack: if there are only middle seats left when you board, look for two people who are obviously together and try to sit between them. It’s like 99% certain that one of them will scoot over.

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@saraschaefer1 In today’s world, the inside is the outside

[John T @nomoorejohns]

Of course I like golf puns!

[John T @nomoorejohns]

When my MBA classmates see my standup set:

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@MattMcElhone For real. Have you ever tried to spit in a sidewalk crack? Has to be at least more difficult than that.

[John T @nomoorejohns]

@nuggets Holy shit, get hype