carl

None of this matters

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

My sink is leaking. I shopped online for stray dogs. #خان_کی_قید_پر_خاموشی_توڑو #нюдсочетверг #MéxicoVsEcuador

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@NatalieCuomo Lol this makes me want to get back into the tweet game

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

A minority insulted my wife at the grocery market. I shopped online for contact lenses. #GreatAwakening #turnipprices

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@growupjoe Probably poor, since most people are more poor than rich, but, also, most people are assholes...at least according to internet and traffic

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

I’ve just re-read every single tweet i’ve left standing.. i’m the fucking greatest to ever do it. My only regerts are the wons ive erased just because they were racist or somebullshit. #noneofthsmattrs #humblebrag #godintheflesh #notmyresponsibility #FactCheck #racism

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

I’ve been lonely lately. I shopped online for mirrors. #Amazon #abortionisessential #ShareAFactNoOneAskedFor

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

I shopped online for banana spiders.

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@bgreene This should have been a retweet stop hating

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@bgreene 10 fingers, 10 toes, 1 dong... id say the next digit will probably be another dong or two

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@SageDynamics #sanitize2A #sanitarynapkinsforbernie

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

I sold fake dentures on ebay. #buyingnudes #buyingcontent #catfishfindom #LoseWithBiden

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@realDailyWire Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@hannibalburess I love the smell of competition let’s keep it moving #heavypetting

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@RealJamesWoods so legit i can’t get a follow back? My shit is hilarious unless you are a fucking idiot. ❤️🤙🏽🥃🇺🇸🧬

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

Fact: the only reason you can see anything is because your eyes work. #InternationalWomenDay2020 #EduGladiators #BlackLove

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@RealJamesWoods That’s why i employ child lookouts

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

I tweeted inappropriately. #UFC248 #TimeToShineTour #LivePDNation #niggerfriday #fuckyou

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@AndrewDehart That guy fucks #fuckiscool #strokeeey

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

@JODYHiGHROLLER Million dollar matte black mullet #jody3moons

[carl @noneofthsmattrs]

I handed out un-popped bags of popcorn to homeless people. #FridayMotivation #toiletpaperpanic