University debate: "The gorilla proves you can build strength on plants alone."
Vegan: "400 pounds of muscle. Never touched a steak or a protein shake. If leaves are enough for him, they're enough for a man in a gym."
Anthropologist: "How much does he eat?"
Vegan: "A lot. He's a big animal."
Anthropologist: "40 pounds a day. He chews for most of his waking life. Where does it go?"
Vegan: "His stomach."
Anthropologist: "His colon. More than half his gut is a fermenting vat. Bacteria break the leaves down. Into what?"
Vegan: "Nutrients. Energy."
Anthropologist: "Fatty acids. Nearly 60% of his calories arrive as fat, made in-house."
Vegan: "That can't be right. Leaves have no fat in them."
Anthropologist: "The leaves don't. The gorilla does. One of those acids is butyrate. It's named after butter."
Vegan: "Then we can do the same."
Anthropologist: "With what? Your colon's a fifth of your gut. You'd get wind and about 5% of your calories."
Vegan: "Plenty of vegan bodybuilders manage."
Anthropologist: "On pea isolate, soya isolate, creatine, B12 and a blender. None of which grows in the Congo."
Vegan: "So the gorilla isn't plant-based?"
Anthropologist: "The gorilla is a fat-burner with a brewery attached. The only one in this debate living on raw carbohydrate and willpower is you."
Moderator: "Does the proposer wish to respond?"
Vegan: "He's still vegan."
Anthropologist: "He also eats his own droppings. I'd pick your role models one habit at a time."