Max

I am a district attorney

[Max @normalguymax]

This is not something I ever have or ever will worry about @Ticketmaster

[Max @normalguymax]

“Just drank a fifth of non-alcoholic vodka dare me to vibe?” Gen Z Eminem or something

[Max @normalguymax]

Damn thought I had this one in the bag

[Max @normalguymax]

Allergies are so silly. A few flowers bloom and all the sudden I’m too itchy to think straight.

[Max @normalguymax]

@roboticpressure @LeBron_Eames Nerd

[JOE @LeBron_Eames]

when people talk about how great Chicago is they cite the architecture, the nightlife, the culture, but one of the best things about Chicago is that exactly zero of these “adults who are afraid of Chicago” live here.

[Max @normalguymax]

@tayraebo As he would have wanted

[Max @normalguymax]

Coming out of wooktirement in 2025

[Max @normalguymax]

@pcoff4real I’ve gotta get my hands on a copy

[Max @normalguymax]

Your silence is deafening @timheidecker

[Max @normalguymax]

Personally, I do not care for Tony Romo.

[sk8er @sk8erbwoy]

Antwuan Dixon’s skate style is so flawless.

[maha @mahaaaay]

hey do you want to come over and watch 7 hours of commercial free football with me in complete silence

[Max @normalguymax]

Heard someone play the saxophone so well that I now understand why Bill Clinton was so popular in the 90s

[Max @normalguymax]

What using a Cervical Neck Traction Device for Instant Neck Pain Relief - Gray has taught me about B2B sales

[Max @normalguymax]

@bigstankyranch Get their ass

[Max @normalguymax]

@bigstankyranch @SportsonMax @ChicagoBears

[Max @normalguymax]

I’d clean up in the speed hobble

[Max @normalguymax]

When are they going to make an Olympics for people in their 30s whose knees hurt when it rains