eh

[Nintendo UK @NintendoUK]

A legend, reborn.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is coming to #NintendoSwitch2 later this year.

[eh @normaneehc]

I havent showered since last year

[eh @normaneehc]

this is actually my 9-5

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[eh @normaneehc]

Bananas are £0.90

[UK Prime Minister @10DowningStreet]

We are capping bus fares at £3.

[Ishan @radshaan]

You guys think Steve Jobs did a market analysis before he decided to make the iPhone?

[saúl @saoultraente]

never kill yourself

[sophie @netcapgirl]

ever since i was young i wanted to transform unstructured data into actionable business insights

[Yam Peleg @Yampeleg]

BRO WHAT THE FUCK I CANT EVEN WRITE A PYTHON SCRIPT HOW THE FUCK DID THEY CATCH SOMETHING THAT FELL FROM FUCKING SPACE ON THE 1ST ATTEMPT?!???

[Mira Murati @miramurati]

I shared the following note with the OpenAI team today.

[balls🚱 @NIGGAR0BUX]

gen alpha is actually cooked

[DYLAN SMITH 🏂 @heaveninterface]

There is an enormous difference between older Zoomers (96-05) and younger Zoomers (06-10) that basically completely seperates the two entirely- old Zoomers grew up on a precensored Internet, Newgrounds, flash etc, while young zoomers grew up on a fully censored web.

[eh @normaneehc]

read this thread and the replies

[The Patriots @thepatriotsasia]

"Idea Gila Lee Kuan Yew Yang Hampir Musnahkan Malaysia!"

Siapa saja tak kenal dengan Lee Kuan Yew, seorang sosok provokatif dalam sejarah Malaysia. Bermula dengan hasrat murni beliau bawa Singapura jayakan pembinaan Malaysia sehingga terserlahnya kebiadapan beliau mecabar...

[Katjang Goering @aminemisme]

@thepatriotsasia Idea LKY sebenarnya tak gila. Idea dia muncul sebab keadaan Penduduk Malaysia yg tak bersedia dgn idea "Malaysian Malaysia". Orang Melayu especially yg tak bersedia nak hadap realiti "hilang tongkat" dan terpaksa "bingkas bangkit berlari".

[FearBuck @FearedBuck]

Why is Theo Von teaching Donald Trump about cocaine 😭😭😭

[Eivor @Eivor_Koy]

As a Chinese, the Paris Olympics left me with two strong impressions:

🇨🇳 The Chinese people are standing up for themselves, demonstrating resilience in the face of gaslighting and boosting self-confidence.

Decades ago, many Chinese people believed that winning medals should be our top priority because it would show the world that we are equal to everyone else. We no longer need gold medals to prove anything to anyone; the Chinese public focuses more on the athletes' progress, friendship, and hard work, and the Chinese athletes compete with confidence and grace at the Paris Olympics, breaking records.

Athletes born after 2000 represent China's future. On the field, they push for improvement; off it, they stand up to bigotry and discrimination by responding logically and courteously.

Unlike the older generation of Chinese, who prefer to "avoid conflicts and endure unfair treatment," young Chinese are more confident in embracing victory and fighting against prejudice.

Amazing.

🇨🇳 We Chinese always say that the world is going through "great changes unseen in a century," which can also be witnessed in the Olympics.

Sports that have been "monopolized" by Westerners are seeing challenges from Chinese athletes. While it's great to see many Western viewers being respectful and kind to the Chinese, watching how SOME Western media and internet users are going bonkers over China's achievements is also interesting.

SOME Westerners are visibly anxious as they continue to cling to the final vestige of their "equality and civilization" while simultaneously denying China's successes, avoiding their own shortcomings, and attempting to smear China in every way they can.

The long-held belief in "West Superiority" is fading away as more and more people realize that we are all equal and should treat each other with dignity and respect. Many Westerners may start to wonder how China, a country heavily criticized by Western media, can pull off such remarkable feats, and they may even begin to doubt the credibility of their news organizations and politicians.

It is worth noting that Chinese athletes' success has also strengthened ties within our Asian community. Many netizens from our Asian neighbours, like Vietnam and Malaysia, have encouraged us, writing, "The achievement is also the pride of Asians."

The Chinese were shy when we first entered the global stage in 2008 with our Olympics. So here we are, sixteen years later, at the Paris Olympics, proudly and graciously showcasing our accomplishments.

I am proud to be Chinese.