Nosaj

I do things with the weefee

[Nosaj @nosaj_c]

@gordonpwpa @Avabelly__ 15% of 500 is 75.

[paris martineau @parismartineau]

the current director of national intelligence is a guy who two years ago received a trophy declaring he “Fucks Only The Young” at an (oddly dildo focused) event he organized dedicated to the conspiracy that Bed Bath and Beyond never actually went bankrupt

[Boston Smalls @smalls2672]

Happy pride month everyone.

[Mandy Arthur @mandyarthur]

Hey @Grok, what's the first name of Trump’s new White House ballroom architect? Just the first name.

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

If I have to pay $7.99 to rent a 30 year-old movie off Amazon when I have a Prime subscription, then we should just reopen Blockbuster. I’d rather have their employees judge my life choices.

[PaulleyTicks @PaulleyTicks]

When you order "Jay and Silent Bob" from Temu

[Spaceballs The X Account @Grunt2A]

Now that Artemis II has launched we have 10 days to get everyone on Earth a Planet of the Apes costume so we can do something hilarious when the astronauts return 😁

[Negi💸 @NM5WRLD]

god forbid i smoke weed in public while the elites eat children.

[Jon Lovett @jonlovett]

In a surprise twist, the Epstein files released the attorney general.

[Sensurround @ShamashAran]

LOL HEB is NOT a "random grocery store in Texas" Its the pinnacle of grocery stores that only a few other chains can come close to. It's an experience. It'd be like calling the SR-71 a random airplane.

[Sara Spector @Miriam2626]

Let's get rid of the Republican Party in Texas who represent the billionaires and elect James Talarico who represents real Texans.

[Covie @covie_93]

Damn, Druski is not letting up...

[Nosaj @nosaj_c]

Aight.... Checked out 2nd story of the bar I'm in. I looked around and asked bartender if I was the oldest person on the floor. She said it's college night and winked at me

[Nosaj @nosaj_c]

@Marriott @MarriottBonvoy look...I don't do this but the Renaissance inn I'm at didn't have salt and pepper in the room, but when I went to front desk, they said it was locked up .. Like...I know it's trivial but I love my s&p lol

[Mrs. Butters 🥧 @MrsButters]

The country that we give billions to has universal healthcare while our citizens die

[Craig Rozniecki @CraigRozniecki]

I see "I Stand With Trump" trending.

Good for you. Here's how that translates.

You stand with a pedophile.
You stand with a rapist.
You stand with a pathological liar.
You stand with a sociopath.
You stand with an adulterer.
You stand with a fraud.
You stand with a malignant narcissist.
You stand with a wannabe dictator.
You stand with the most delicate snowflake in history.
You stand with a literal antichrist (anti everything Christ taught and stood for).
#MAGACultMorons

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

Hey @JDVance….how are those lessons going?