Ryan

ATX - Civil Engineering

[cowboy @nextokens]

guy who faked-it-until-he-made-it but was starting to get in over his head can’t believe his luck when llms launched

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Stateside, a gas station. I drank a frozen blue beverage too quickly, and was struck down by a punishment this entire nation knows, and accepts, and has named.

The drink is called a slush. Ice, sweetness, and a blue that does not occur in nature. The day was hot. I was thirsty. I drank like a soldier at a river.

The pain arrived in my skull like a war horn.

Behind the eyes. Above everything. Total. I gripped the roof of my car. I may have made a sound.

"Brain freeze," said the cashier through the door, with no urgency whatsoever.

It has a NAME. The affliction is so common it has a household name, like a cousin.

"Tongue on the roof of your mouth," called a man at the pumps. He did not look over. He prescribed the remedy mid-pump, casually, the way one mentions weather.

I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. The war horn faded. The healer nodded at his pump, finished, and was gone in a Chevrolet.

In my land, punishment follows crime by way of courts and seasons. Here, the sentence is instant. Drink with greed, and the ice strikes the mind directly. No trial. No appeal. Perfectly fair.

And here is what moves me. EVERYONE has felt it. The cashier. The healer. Children. Elders. An entire nation united by the same small lightning, all taught the same cure, all passing it on to strangers at gas stations, free of charge.

You cannot fully distrust a country once you know it shares one pain.

The freeze does not punish thirst. It punishes haste.

I finished the slush slowly, like a scholar. Blue tongue. Clear mind.

Then at the door I forgot everything, drank deeply, and was struck down again.

"Tongue, hon," said the cashier, without looking up.

Discipline is a journey.

[idk @personalmilkman]

@ayeejuju

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

yes fighting & drinking will be allowed at my funeral

[aja‼️ @b1ondeath]

Elvis used to get high as balls on pills that don’t even exist anymore and just do fat karate outside for hours

[doomer @uncledoomer]

went to foreign country, uber driver asks me, do americans always buy gold with crypto? im like, not really. hes like, thats weird because im talking to a girl from texas in america, shes really hot, and her favorite thing to do is buy gold with crypto. im like, oh buddy.

[evil elly @laffodiI]

how long do you typically wait for a chipped tooth to grow back

[Σtefan λapointe @StefanLapointe]

Alchemists in 1600: "We are about 30 years away from transmuting lead into gold. It's right around the corner, I can feel it."

[creedmakinnoise. @myculturenoisey]

Do pimps pay for the funeral if one of their hos die? I would if I was a pimp.

[AB @AB84]

I cannot believe the U.S. Navy has submarines towing around cages full of sharks they release after sinking enemy ships.

[cav empty @cavempty_]

do you fw guys that don’t have anything to say sometimes

[Niz @Niztopia]

my girl cheated on me with the waymo driver i fucking hate austin texas

[Ham Randal @AShittyEngineer]

Said something my ExWife would have loved to the Wife, she knew, relapsed after. Hotdog and cigarette

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

Never knew this was an option

[J trader @jtrader]

True story.

[Tyler Wise @TriggeredWise]

Been following this guy around the last 20 minutes honking

[julian @YEAROFTHEWIZARD]

Oh are you "sparking up?" Haha, no thanks man none for me, *surfer voice* thats far out though you know what i mean! *Turning and speaking into wrist communicator* Im in over my head. Airstrike my position

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

String of words your grandpa lets out when he stubs his toe