not_GVPD

This account is not associated with the police department of Grand Valley State University - For parody purposes only.

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

@GVCops is a bit late to the party…

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

If you"popped a Molly" and are hashtag "sweatin", please send us your coordinates immediately

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

Shout out to @GVSUBoobs and @gvboobs for giving us something to "look" at back in the station

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

This isn't even our final form: #Training http://t.co/6ymiZu2A

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

Walk close to the street so that we can splash you with our cars as we drive through these puddles. Happy Monday bitches

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

She's too nice for an MIP

#OperationGetKaylaToMeetTaylorSwift

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

Given the events in Connecticut on 12/14, I want you to know you're safe with us.

You see us cruzin', you hatin' …we protectin'

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

@melissa_wasson @fakethaas "He must be over 21 because this girl said so on Twitter, and no one lies on twitter". We're coming anyway

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

@FakeTHaas You get one per year. Use it wisely.

While I have you here, I need $50,000 for some new AK's in next years budget

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

We all have a strange uncle. If he starts groping you at a family holiday party, you know how to get ahold of us

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

Worries won't go away with an MIP. Just say NO to drugs and alcohol

“@kbrezzy21: I just want to drink wine and let my worries go away”

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

Retweet if you got an MIP this semester!

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

Biggest bar night of the year, can't wait to arrest all of the drunk drivers! Getting monaayyy for the countaayyy

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

@FakeTHaas Safety first. Do it for the kids

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

I'm not sexist, but women cops are WAY worse to deal with than male cops because they act like they have something extra to prove. #Bitch

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

#ToMyFutureSon I hope you are as testosterone-filled and racist as me, and also share my passion for fucking over college kids #MachoMan

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

Apparently not many things are a @TotalGVMove, because they haven't tweeted in over a month...

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

CLASSES WILL BE CANCELLED TOMORROW TO DUE @hurricannesandy

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

17 disorderly conducts, 24 DUI's, 186 MIP's, 29 public intoxications, 4 indecent exposure charges, AND 1 #GVSU FOOTBALL WIN!
#HomeComing

[not_GVPD @not_GVPD]

"Have a safe homecoming weekend!"

…like we actually give a fuck…