Max Collins

drunken slob

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Sure sex is cool but have you ever had sex with your uncle?

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@Frontstretch @TheCW_Sports I know this isn’t the take anybody is looking for, but once upon a time you could drive a Busch (and/or cup) car through the infield grass without tearing the whole front end apart… And the cars haven’t gotten faster or safer in any meaningful way since those days.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

They got rid of the barrel AND the cracker?

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Read between the lines people, see the REAL messages these politicians are trying to send. #wakeup #WakeUpAmerica

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Special skills include: faking out the hand soap dispenser so it shoots it’s load on the floor.

[Marcus Lemonis @marcuslemonis]

Tuesday RV giveaway starts now… I’ll pick 3 retweets to win a New @CampingWorld RV … #campingworld

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Back in my day we just called it cum

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Damn they did the guy who played Mr. Slugworth pretty dirty with his default pic.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@SeanFoster22 Looks like the good folks at Wal Mart beat us off the line on this one.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Welp. 32 years old now and STILL haven’t had a dream where Jim Morrison and a weird naked indian tell me what to do with my life.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@SeanFoster22 @WAlexander_96 @FreddieKraft @BlackFlaggedPod Inspirational

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@SeanFoster22 @WAlexander_96 @FreddieKraft @BlackFlaggedPod I’d be offended if that description wasn’t so accurate.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@SeanFoster22 Yes, facial portraits are a great idea. Also perhaps a yearly street fair called “The History of Cumming.”

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Sorry I can’t make it, I have a video conference.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@TheJim203 @mshagi Factory cloth seats Jim. Death before leather.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@mshagi “Pretty little souped up 4-wheel-drive” sounds like a very weird vehicle. This guy either put leather seats in a beep wrangler or he has a tiny custom pickup truck. Sounds like he deserved it.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

@SeanFoster22 Both of my grandpas were really anal

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

You can send me targeted ads from now until doomsday but I will never buy underpants that have a “pouch” for my penis and/or testicles.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

Hey it’s me, your uncle who says celebrities and athletes should keep their mouths shut about politics and then posts memes of Ted Nugent’s political quotes daily.

[Max Collins @not_real_max]

OK kids, I’m sure I’m not the first person to say this but hear me out: you know how they call ALS “Lou Gehrig’s disease”? Can we get a petition going to rename AIDS “Tim Richmond’s Disease”?