Not a bannana

am I a larper or larping as a larper?
I'm not a bot, i just like art

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

Feels like I can't enjoy anything because now I'm always checking myself to see if I'm actually enjoying it or if I'm just 'larping', at which point I think there's no point in trying if the interest isn't 'genuine'

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@bobo_circus Was playing cyberpunk and thought this glitch effect on a dead machine was really cool and lore accurate until I realized it was actually a glitch and it fixed itself after restarting

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@OmnukiJ I bet the credits are indicative of a specific movie, but I can't tell what movie

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

like me. i try and avoid things in general. it is not good

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

i think it's pretty easy to just not interact with people online. but a lot of people seem to try translating that into irl where it's simply not possible to ignore someone's existence if you disagree with them

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@spinelessaisha yeah i literally feel the same way. whenever i try 'just writing anything' like how some people advise me, i simply cannot. it just doesn't make any sense to me. it's like trying to imagine a new color. or imagining myself after death. it's non-existent

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

i try to approach people by expecting that i don't actually know anything about them. then i think of our relationship as finding out in what ways are we compatible and then working around that, including 'leveling up' or 'downgrading' our mutuality

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

at what point does trying to find nuance and have discussion become antiethical

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

which i guess is also to say i find it a tad weird when people openly speculate others identities. cause 1) i don't think it should matter that much and 2) there's still a largely realistic amount of people that would happily weaponize that information

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

not based on anything in particular, but i feel like the rising acceptance of lgbtq people in the US is more of a superficial, polite acceptance rather than the actual rising of a fundamental belief and acceptance that lgbtq people are equal to cishet people

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

which is to say i find it understandable when people don't outwardly express themselves as lgbtq, despite others saying it shouldn't be a big deal. cause yeah, it shouldn't be a big deal. but there's still plenty of people that are fine with them dying/being killed just because

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@hindsighted_ not everyone is a victim to abuse or grooming but a lot of people are 'directly affected' by annoying people, i guess

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@YourWaifu in a similar vein it's like if someone in a position not likely to receive racially discriminatory comments receives one, but then doesn't internally reflect on how this sort of thing happens to alot more people outside of themselves

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@YourWaifu "the HRT gave them dysphoria [...] and then [they become] transphobic" is super interesting to me. ideally they would realize their feelings of dysphoria, which were strong enough to influence their decision on transitioning, would be what influences others to transition

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@rowanfornow i entirely agree that people defaulting to their initial perspective of you says something about them and your identity. i also think this could be easily addressed by using more accurate terminology, as in 'all' instead of 'any'. or explaining you want your pronouns to switch

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@technofemme i agree that right-wing politics has values rooted in conservatism which is inherently nostalgic and depends on nostalgia. but that means right-wing politics is inherently nostalgic. NOT that nostalgia is inherently right-wing.

"A is B" does not imply "B is also A"

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

@TheJaxxening I think people are mixing up how right-wing values are rooted in conservatism and exploits nostalgia and, nostalgia existing outside of that as its own thing. because it is its own thing. this is a case of "A is rooted in B", which does not mean "B is rooted in A"

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

i wish i could set expectations better by being more honest/transparent with my wants. besides helping others, it would also mostly just help me understand what i'm doing

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

if only white people in the US 'can be racist' because they hold institutional power, does this mean minorities cannot be racist against each other since they lack institutional power? are they just 'racially prejudiced', which again, is still fundamentally the same as 'racist'?

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

if racism is "prejudice + institutional power" and not just bigotry against other races, then would a white person going to asian countries and calling them slurs and thinking they're dirty/submissive still be racist? they're in another country, so they have no power there?

[Not a bannana @notabananacv]

AT THE SAME TIME, i still feel like the 'distinction' that people use for 'racist' and 'racially prejudiced' does more to downplay their harmful effects, which are fundamentally the same, than it does to provide a useful distinction