alice 🪽

#shedtwt
looking for moots

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

hii, im alice :]
she/her, 18 yo
-15 dni, except for that i fb everyone
vent account, #shedtwt

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

why did i have to get all the autism traits that make your life miserable but none of the cool special interests or “math genius” stuff 😔

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

i wish i had one thing i was really good at, like a big hobby, something i could call “my thing”

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

i wish i had one thing i was really good at, like a big hobby, something i could call “my thing”

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

@lilliesforu yepp!! <3

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

hii, im alice :]
she/her, 18 yo
-15 dni, except for that i fb everyone
vent account, #shedtwt

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

@girlfriendcurse suree!!

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

@lapis_lazuli11 tbh you’re not missing out on anything, smoking is overrated as hell and tastes worse than straight vodka 😭

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

@sleepycatts2 i read what you wrote before, and i really hope you’re feeling better now, or that things get better for you in the future. i’m really glad you’re safe. take care 🫶

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

very visible sh scars really will make your life 10 times more miserable. you have to worry about hiding them all the time or people will either bully you, give you a side eye, or even report you to the police (like my pe teacher after i wore short sleeves ONCE 😭😭)

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

i phrased it like such situations take place often, but its just about only person i talked to in the last 5 years and they didnt really consider me their friend anyway so 😔 not that i blame them after how i treated them. i think they wanted to befriend me though

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

honestly i understand why people dont like me. i really dont give a good impression, and im not a good person or friend anyway, so its probably good for them

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

even when i really like someone i sometimes cant make myself text them or even answer, and i just avoid it for weeks or even months. i dont know why because it makes me feel bad too and i genuinely want to talk to them!!! but something holds me back

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

i feel like i sound like a really mean when i write anything here but i dont mean it i promise 😔😔

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

its silly that i still care about such things im so bitter

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

everyone in my environment say shit like "mental health matters", repost it on social media, brag about how accepting they all are all the time, and then treat me like a subhuman because im awkward and lonely

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

meanwhile all middle school i spent sitting lonely in the corner and crying and literally nobody gave a fuck at alllll 😭😭

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

i hate it so much when someone is trying to control me or tell me what i /have/ to do, what i /have/ to be, etc. maybe its childish, but it makes me want to do something completely opposite, even if its not what i want

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

ram pricing is insane now though so i dont really reccommend buying a pc right now unless youre really desperate lol

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

it sounds silly but atp my pc is one of the last things keeping me here ..... its the first thing i ever spent so much money on idk looking at it makes me joyful

[alice 🪽 @notalice000]

i got it recently so thats probably the reason. but still, i havent touched video games in a loong time bc of depression and lack of motivation, but now i feel almost obligated to play them (/pos), so i came back to one of my old hobbies. yay.