demigod in a bonnet

[Janet Murray @jan_murray]

I didn’t really get the problem with gender ideology at first.

I’m liberal-minded about most things. ‘Live and let live’ has generally been my motto. I believed in inclusion, kindness and not causing unnecessary offence.

I knew some adults chose medical treatments or surgery to resemble the opposite sex. That seemed to me a matter of personal autonomy. Adults can do what they wish with their own bodies.

What I hadn’t realised — and I feel slightly embarrassed admitting this — was that I’d misunderstood what was being claimed.

I thought “transgender” meant a form of self-expression. A man who liked wearing women’s clothes. Someone changing their name. Gender non-conformity.

What I hadn’t grasped was that some activists weren’t just asking for tolerance. They were asserting that declaring yourself the opposite sex made you the opposite sex. Not metaphorically. Literally.

And that this wasn’t just cultural. It had legal consequences.

It meant men who said they were women were demanding access to women’s sports, prisons, domestic violence shelters and hospital wards.

It meant the rewriting of healthcare language — “pregnant people”, “bodies with cervixes” — to avoid saying “women”.
It meant children struggling with identity being affirmed onto medical pathways with lifelong implications.

And also redefining same-sex attraction. Lesbians called ‘bigoted’ for not wanting relationships with men who identify as women. Gay men accused of prejudice for saying they’re not attracted to female bodies.

I’d also overlooked how deeply this had spread into public institutions, schools and workplaces.

And how easily disagreement was framed as cruelty. Speaking up felt risky — because others were being publicly humiliated for doing so.

None of this is abstract.

Because sex is the basis on which safeguarding works. On which data is collected. On which cancer screening programmes run. On which fair sport and single-sex spaces depend. It’s written into law — including the Equality Act — because material differences matter.

If sex becomes a ‘feeling’ rather than a biological category, those protections become unstable.

And once reality becomes negotiable, everything does.

Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

But I needed to be sure.

So I read. Books, research papers, policy documents. When I finally spoke publicly, there was backlash from all directions.

Many women thanked me, while some feminists criticised me for speaking too late.

Others were angry about a past interview I’d done with the parent of a transgender person, accusing me of promoting harm.

It takes courage to speak when you know your reputation, friendships or livelihood may be on the line — when you know raising your voice could strain, or even end, relationships you value.

Once I understood what was at stake, staying silent was no longer an option.

I lost my livelihood simply for saying I didn’t like the phrase “pregnant people”. That alone tells you something is deeply wrong.

It shouldn’t be this way.

I don’t expect praise for admitting it took me far too long to understand what was happening. Or to say so publicly.

I can only be honest about what I believed then and what I understand now.

But it does take courage to admit publicly that you got something wrong. All I hope is that by acknowledging I wasn’t paying enough attention, another woman (or man) might feel emboldened to do the same.

Because, as many of us know first-hand, there can be professional, social and financial consequences to speaking out.

And I won’t pretend I understood something before I did, simply to make myself more acceptable to those who got there sooner.

Which is why I will never judge another woman for how long it takes her to find her voice.

Because every voice matters. Whenever it is raised.

[Janet Murray @jan_murray]

Dear friend (who thinks I’m unkind - or even homophobic),

Remember how much we loved Boy George and Marilyn when we were growing up? Our parents weren’t thrilled by men in make-up and dresses - but we thought they were cool. They were expressing individuality and challenging rigid gender stereotypes.

You and I both grew up supporting gay rights for a simple reason: people shouldn’t be punished, excluded or shamed for who they love.

That belief hasn’t changed.

But being gay, lesbian or bisexual is about who you’re attracted to. Gender identity is about how someone understands or describes themselves.

Those are not the same thing. And treating them as if they are puts women and girls at risk.

Here’s the crucial difference.

Many of the pop stars we grew up with played with gender expression - flamboyant clothes, make-up, theatrical performance. David Bowie made a whole art form out of it.

But we still understood they were men - and so did they.

They weren’t demanding entry to women’s spaces.

They weren’t claiming women’s awards or competing in women’s sporting categories.

And women weren’t being forced to agree that the man standing in front of them was a woman - or risk social or professional consequences.

We both have daughters now - young women just starting their adult lives. I’ve taught mine that no means no and I’m sure you’ve taught yours the same.

But that message becomes meaningless if our girls are also being told they must say “yes” to any man who says he’s a woman - even when their instincts say otherwise.

If a girl isn’t interested in make-up or stereotypically feminine things, she may be told she’s actually a man - rather than simply a strong, independent young woman who dresses and behaves as she pleases.

And if she’s same-sex attracted, she may face pressure from men who identify as “lesbians” and expect access to her spaces - and her body - something we'd never have accepted as progressive or 'kind' when we were younger.

Single-sex spaces - toilets, changing rooms, hospital wards, refuges, prisons - exist because women need them. Not because all men are dangerous, but because male violence is a reality and sex-based boundaries reduce risk.

Women cannot know which men pose a threat and which don’t.

That’s why all must stay out of women's spaces. Good men understand this - without question.

I know you want to be kind. So do I.

But kindness isn’t asking women and girls to surrender their privacy, dignity or safety in order to prove they’re “tolerant”.

Or calling them 'homophobic' or bigoted for saying no.

With love,
Janet

[Mia Hughes @_CryMiaRiver]

🧵Apotemnophilia

In the 90s, Dr. Robert Smith, a surgeon at Falkirk Royal Infirmary, performed leg amputations on two men. Both men were perfectly healthy but suffering from apotemnophilia, a psychiatric condition involving the desire to have healthy limbs amputated./1

[Kellie-Jay Keen @ThePosieParker]

The beautiful and unique thing about #LetWomenSpeak is that it's genuinely inclusive. There is no left/right or conservative/socialist agenda. We are united in our knowledge that:
No woman has a penis
No man has a vagina
Non binary is nonsense, and
Transitioning children is profound abuse.

[Winston Marshall @MrWinMarshall]

“I would like all government, whether its education, the police, the NHS, the judiciary as a whole, I would like all of them to get out of the business of telling women what we can and cannot say. And I would like them to stop indoctrinating children” @ThePosieParker

🎙 Marshall Matters 🎙
FULL EPISODE LINKS BELOW

[Ian Miles Cheong @ianmiles]

“3 days of being a girl and I’m already a bimbo.” This person met the President this past weekend to talk about what it means to be a woman, and Biden agreed with every word.

[Susan Dalgety @DalgetySusan]

@Lachlan_Edi Isabelle Kerr MBE: Involved in Rape Crisis work for 40 years. A woman can no longer ask if they can get a woman to support her through her trauma. #WomensRally

[Dr. Sydney Watson @SydneyLWatson]

You know the term "cis" that trans activists love to force on us? Well, it was coined by a German sexologist who argued in favour of pedophilia.

Isn't it interesting how the fathers of gender theory and its terms all advocated for sex with kids? 👀
https://t.co/haG88i06WO

[demigod in a bonnet @notaterf]

Incredibly sad yet still happening to kids and young adults every damn day

[Ritchie 🌷 @TullipR]

I want to tell everyone what they took from us, what irreversible really means, and what that reality looks like for us.

No one told me any of what I’m going to tell you now.

🧵

[demigod in a bonnet @notaterf]

@GendertheHun I’m not normally a conspiracy theorist but there’s something really eerie about the way they’re finding gender nonconforming, possible gay children and sterilizing them before they’ve even been in a relationship

[demigod in a bonnet @notaterf]

I wish feminism were as profitable as churches. I wish there were feminists temples in every city. Somewhere women could go to learn how to individually and collectively free ourselves from male oppression. Uphold the teachings of our foremothers and save women’s lives.

[Louise Ashworth 🦖 🟩⬜️🟪 @Ashworth101]

@MediClit @RichardDawkins Zealously removing information about specifically female anatomy wherever it appears, sounds like a very puritanical & regressive religion that believes female sexuality is evil or corrupt. And TRAs have the barefaced cheek to call us extreme right-wing!

[Dr EM @PankhurstEM]

With regards to Eddie Izzard, https://t.co/i3P1Gg8KLl

[demigod in a bonnet @notaterf]

Ever wonder how mutilation of young bodies got so popular so fast?

[Quinn 🏳️‍🌈 @ContrarianQuinn]

I am a trans woman.
I was born with a vagina.
Yes we exist.
We are an even more vulnerable minority within a minority. We face all the same things as other trans women except many of us also menstruate and are vulnerable to pregnancy /1

#translivesmatter

[demigod in a bonnet @notaterf]

@Anonomega3 @cannemckenzie @Glinner Well women seem to survive just fine without those things. Start asking yourselves why you’re so weak I guess

[demigod in a bonnet @notaterf]

@vardex23 @AllianceLGB Imagine thinking the religious right was funding an lgb organization 🤣