Goob

emotional creature

[Goob @notgoobagain]

“Poop your poops, live your dreams” - Eric Winter

[Goob @notgoobagain]

Wait June literally just ate more veggies in one sitting than she has in her entire life. CARROTS PEAS CORN AND GREEN BEANS. WHO TAUGHT HER???

[Goob @notgoobagain]

I feel like I’m a fairly smart, capable and innovative person, but oh my fucking god I can’t figure out how to get my toddler to eat anything other than velveeta and shells or bread drenched in maple syrup. This is easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done lol

[Goob @notgoobagain]

Is Twitter dead or am I just not funny?

[Goob @notgoobagain]

I dreamt last night that I was in the hospital and they tried to start multiple IVs through my fingernails. Wtf is wrong with me?

[Goob @notgoobagain]

I’m having the *best* type of stomach bug, where I feel like complete shit but also can’t sleep, so I get to experience the misery to the fullest extent.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

Eric can recite every line of Moana. Help

[Goob @notgoobagain]

Look at my beautiful family

[Goob @notgoobagain]

I need a vacation due to dealing with a sick toddler for 4 months. I am guaranteed 6 weeks of vacation a year, BUT HAVE USED UP ALL MY PTO THANKS TO DAYCARE GERMS. This is a sick joke I wasn’t prepared for.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

I will die from this disease June gave me. I’m so over this months long endemic of the winter house.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

Things I heard about before I was a parent, but now it consumes my life.

1. Naps. All my plans surround naptime.

2. Food. You worry about them eating enough, from the literal moment they are born.

3. Sickness. When they’re sick they make it everybody else’s problem.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

If they make seasons of love is blind for the next 50 years, I will watch every. Single. One.

And cringe the entire time.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

Dropping to one nap today. Dropped our morning bottle today. Driving to Catawba today. Why am I doing all these new/hard things today? 🙃

[Goob @notgoobagain]

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

[Goob @notgoobagain]

The only thing more disgusting than daycare is a toddlers water cup.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

June’s been hiding her pacifiers in the liquor cabinet JFC.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

This double ear infection makes my world sound like I have permanent noise cancelling headphones on. I’m also either whispering or shouting, there is no in between.

[Goob @notgoobagain]

Eric will never ask me to go out and get him food, he’ll just open the cupboard and say shit like “looks like I can either have cream of chicken or baking soda for lunch”

[Goob @notgoobagain]

HAS AQUAPHOR REALLY BEEN THE CURE FOR EVERYTHING AND IVE JUST BEEN STUPID ABOUT IT??