Not Heath Fullerton

This is not Heath Fullerton. More like his evil twin. The views and opinions expressed here are satire.

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Took my playoff shorts to the dry cleaner today. #GATA

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

I roll out of bed in a three point stance. Perfect form. My wife kicks my hand out from under me. Perfect balance. Neutral spine. #GATA

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Never forget.

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Ho ho ho

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

I voted for Kanye
#GATA

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Did I ever tell you guys that I could dunk in high school?

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

I wore 3 masks to IGA today because I love my family. #GATA

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

They had to implement the “Heath Rules” on the mean streets of Aledo when I was a kid.
Rule #1: No snacks in your pockets
Rule #2: Diet soda only
Rule #3: I could dunk

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Who’s this troll? @FullertonHeath

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Reenacting Jordan highlights and dunking on my boys on a 7 ft rim. #gata

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Yard work and keystone. Then WWE highlights from the D Generation X days.

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

I’m from the streets.

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

I’m outstanding in corn. #burris

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

They used to call me Heath Exotic at one of my side gigs in college. #TigerKing

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Reading 100 pph with all this time at home. We will be lucky if we get outta quarantine without a set of triplets. #booknerd #fertile

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Pissed about this @catsmovie. I’m going to start writing a slam poetry film called Dogs. #AdoptDontShop

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Sometimes I wear my hat backwards so the other dads know I’m cool. #gata

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Who do we play tonight? Been too busy reading and drinking Diet Pepsi. #booknerd

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

Word to Johnny Drama

[Not Heath Fullerton @notheathfton2]

#burntheboat