dysfunctional

26 • i love my dog more than all people • nothing but thieves • LM💜

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

just went to pay for something online & attempted to stick my card in the bottom of my phone. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

“child safe lock” yeah beth safe too by the fkin looks of things

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

i want to be someone else

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

me: has one bad day at work
me: re downloads indeed

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

horrifically surprised that i haven’t had a noise complaint from my neighbours yet

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

“the clit is the friend you find along the way”

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

a video just tried to tell me recipes “to make you live until you’re 100” & i genuinely pulled a face, went “eugh” out loud, & scrolled on.

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

fucking lol

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

what is the point tho

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

do tears count as primer? asking for a friend

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

chronic acne break out? yeah cool don’t worry i don’t need my self esteem this week it’s FINE

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

i really hope the receptionist who answered the phone to me this morning & said “good afternoon, oops no good morning”, is doing ok

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

imagine having a work team that tells you that you’re not coming to work until you’re better. god i love my job

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

also how do i tell Liam that there are going to be crumbs in the bed when he gets home

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

need to try to convince Liam that it’s a good idea to adopt a cat, imagine having a home together without a cat?

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

“want a bit of flappers?” - my mum, asking me if i’d like a piece of flapjack. i’m done with today

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

i have to work really hard to not beef people on my towns facebook page, but sometimes the middle aged white men need to hear it

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

need to put a disclaimer on my front door saying “no my dog is not being slaughtered, the hoover is in use”

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

i simply cannot believe that in the next few weeks me & Liam will have keys to our first house 😭😭😭😭

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

just realised my twitter is becoming a page where i thirst over my boyfriend

[dysfunctional @nothingbutbeth]

patiently waiting for Liam to send me a photo after he’s shaved so i can see dat stubble 😈