not jack

twitter is my dream journal looking for a sponsorship

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“My cat is worse than my girlfriend, anytime she wants attention she hits me.”
-someone on the phone at wcc

[not jack @notjack06676757]

What’s up fuckers

[not jack @notjack06676757]

@duolingo saved my life 😅

[not jack @notjack06676757]

LFG bitches

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“Are you using this ?”
Then she takes my only pillow from under my head while I’m falling asleep

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“I had a dream my tires were really flat and my car was really close to the ground and I was like what the hell”
-Elisa

[not jack @notjack06676757]

She’s so beautiful wtf🙀🙀

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“Go ahead bitch w baby “
-Elisa

[not jack @notjack06676757]

I miss the oak

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“Stop! We talked about this, not at the park”
- someone yelling at their dog at the dog park

[not jack @notjack06676757]

When it’s national gf day and your gf wants to go to her full moon ceremony instead of having a date night 😅

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“Look at that big fat corgi with his butt running, he’s so cute, I love it”
-kid at the dog park

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“I remember when I was little I read a WebKinz creepy pasta and I was so scared, I cried “
-Elisa

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“Omg look a German Shepard”
-Elisa pointing at a chihuahua

[not jack @notjack06676757]

Getting really drunk and really political

[not jack @notjack06676757]

“7.77 jackpot”

[not jack @notjack06676757]

@n0ttrent Did you j steal this tweet ?

[not jack @notjack06676757]

I hate when they’re ugly

[not jack @notjack06676757]

Gonna get drunk as shit and knit

[not jack @notjack06676757]

If I hear another Beatles song I’m gonna throw up