Secret of the Pro’s

[Secret of the Pro’s @notmichaelpeca]

If I said how I felt about the @LibertyMutual emu not only would peta send a hit squad after me, but I’d probably end up on an FBI watch list. #grr #bad #emu #emusucks

[𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚 @Chris_Grosse]

A state divided.

[East Village Guy @eastvillageguy]

I hate Lemu Emu, and I don’t particularly care for Doug either

[Secret of the Pro’s @notmichaelpeca]

The fucking McDonald’s touchscreens need to ask me more questions. It always feels like I’m not slamming my finger on the barely working touchscreen enough. Like I need 5 more prompts when I’m simply trying to pay. #grrr #schipol

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

People forget Ben Roethlisberger died in The Dark Knight Rises.

[Mister Hot Balls ☄️☄️ @MisterHotBalls]

I’d donate multiple organs tonight if it meant never seeing another Kalshi advertisement

[Secret of the Pro’s @notmichaelpeca]

@TimmyKal12 @IcyVert Tim please stop.

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

Don’t worry if your A level results are a bit disappointing. I got a C and two Us. And this evening I shall sit in my agreeable garden, drinking beer from my own brewery and eating food from my own farm. Prepared by my own chef.

[gucci store majority shareholder @AdamdotH]

MCAFFEE: I AM *JACKED* TO BE IN BA-TAWN ROUGE LOU-EAZY-ANNA. THESE ARE MY PEOPLE

SABAN: They’d kill you with rocks

HOWARD: [stilted laughter]

HERBSTREIT: In theory, if Burger King were to send me coupon in the mail, I would use them

MCAFFEE: [climbing chair] HEYYYYYYY-OOOOOOO

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

Flat on the back elbow over chin in front of a packed house 😂

[Lyth ♠️ @Lytherian]

this would be good news if hockey players could actually read 😭

[~ @H3ll0KittyGal]

Still I rise fuck nigga

[Wilyer Abreu Propagandist #BroonzSzn @wilyerforever]

You sick fuck

[Fr. Cassidy Stinson @TheHappyPriest]

Look, I'm still not the kind of priest to say things like "they're putting demons in the robots," but the chainsaw-wielding black drones with eyeball horns are making it harder to argue my case

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Derek Jeter broke ankle one day after he sold his apartment in Trump World Tower.

[MEHMOONICrave @themehmooni]

Much like Odysseus’ crew my friends often open a bag that blows us off course for many days

[Jozu 🇵🇦 @JozuJoestarr]

What if we gave Christopher Nolan $3.3 billion instead of Israel