just a guy looking for a fish head wife w cannons

If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden & Radko Gudas I would shoot Gudas twice

[just a guy looking for a fish head wife w cannons @notpghguyinva]

@pgh_scanner This would never happen at @WaffleHouse

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

PEW PEW PEW!!! 🇺🇸🦅

[80s Nostalgia Channel @80s_channel]

🤪

[Kerry Slone(Stilettos&Shotguns) @thereal_SnS]

The perfect range doesn’t exi….

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

🚨 🚨 BRAKING 🚨 🚨

Today we wish a happy 80th birthday to President Trump. Here are 9 FACTS that the mainstream media won’t admit

1. He invented commercial real estate
2. He’s defeated inflation
3. He’s defeated Iran
4. 3 successful marriages, 5 kids, 21 grandkids
5. He’s deported more illegal immigrants in 18 months than all other presidents combined
6. I got gas for less than $1 a gallon today and was paying 10X that under Biden
7. He is the most devout Christian president in history
8. No president has read or loved the Bible like him. He even made his own
9. He’s now the oldest president in history

Thank you, sir. Our greatest president, Benjamin Franklin, is looking down at you and smiling

[Don @Donwillioni]

About to watch the World Cup in the pub when a fella said to me ‘I bet you can’t name 3 Qatar players’

I replied - George Harrison, Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton

#worldcup

[Dubzy @DubzyOnceAgain]

If I ever get a trillion dollars I’m going to see so many boobs

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

@DLoesch This was our negotiation strategy in 1945

[Josh Yohe @JoshYohe_PGH]

McDavid and MacKinnon fans seem upset about Hart voting.
A man once led NHL with 199 points (31 more than anyone else), 85 goals, set a record with 13 SHG and led his team to playoff for first time in 7 years with Bob Errey and Rob Brown as linemates.
And didn’t win the Hart.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

In northern Florida, refuse from a paper mill has caused female fish to develop male sex organs.

And in a related story: Attorney General Janet Reno.

[just a guy looking for a fish head wife w cannons @notpghguyinva]

@3YearLetterman @godlywomanhood I mean if you already went to the jewelry store and she's half lit it seems wasteful not to go for it
You know what Jesus says about wasting stuff

[just a guy looking for a fish head wife w cannons @notpghguyinva]

@HelmerVA So when you swore to uphold the constitution you were fucking lying?

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

I don’t know much about soccer but I love watching it and I played FIFA for 2 decades on PlayStation so I just sit there and scream “square pass” or “triangle pass” because my only references for technique are the PlayStation controller buttons

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

“The firemen are here!!”

“Why don’t they have water?”

“It’s going to be fine.”

“They’re eggs in hats, we’re all going to die.”

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but having a net worth of a trillion dollars means you literally have a trillion dollars in the bank

[cow @cowincrisis]

dying as a human is so boring. like you get buried in the ground? yeah that’s pretty worthless. but me? i get to be a fucking crunch wrap supreme i know you wish you were me

[Grace Marlowe @graceofthecurls]

Algerians doing jigs in Kansas... Brits eating barbecue in Texas... Koreans doing full on kegstands in Mexico... just goes to show that the entire world can be united by the simple concept of getting really drunk and watching a sporting event

[B/R Open Ice @BR_OpenIce]

Knick Bonino