sam

[sam @notsamhov]

been thinking about dinosaurs a lot recently. T-Rex, triceratops and those mfs. I feel like I’m 19 again

[sam @notsamhov]

She hawkin on my tuah til I spit on that thang

[sam @notsamhov]

Anyone wanna go halfsies on this with me ?

[Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 @mtgreenee]

Yes they can control the weather.

It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.

[Striggity @35mmPapi]

I know the photographer absolutely lost his shit when Willem hit this. Like he told him “gimme something fire” but he wasn’t prepared for this.

[sam @notsamhov]

@gracesgoogle 🤤🍆😩🙏

[sam @notsamhov]

@kroger how can I have a good weekend when all my meats are spoiled due to the big wigs and their greed.

[sam @notsamhov]

I’m not snitching on the local deli boys. it’s the fat cats in Cincinnati (HQ) that are causing the problems @kroger

[Kroger @kroger]

@notsamhov Hi, we are sorry that the stickers are tearing your deli meat bags. We certainly don't intend for your food to spoil. Could you let us know the store location? We would like to share your feedback with our team.

[sam @notsamhov]

I think the deli packagers over at @Kroger intentionally put the sticker on in a way so that the bag will rip and it’ll go bad faster and then they can sell you more ham. This is my most recent conspiracy theory

[sam @notsamhov]

@gracesgoogle Ratio

[sam @notsamhov]

yeah no shit

[Jon Erlichman @JonErlichman]

Things that didn’t exist on Christmas 20 years ago:

iPhone
Facebook
YouTube
Instagram
Twitter
TikTok
Android
Bitcoin
Tesla
iPad
Gmail
Netflix streaming
Amazon Prime
SpaceX
Slack
Reddit
WhatsApp
Messenger
Google Maps
Snapchat
LinkedIn
Pinterest
Chrome
Skype
Spotify
Airbnb
Uber

[sam @notsamhov]

wyd in this situation ?

[Former FBI Deputy Director Nick Lutsko @NickLutsko]

For your consideration @Kevfeige @MarvelStudios

[sam @notsamhov]

Listening to our shared Spotify playlist skipping all her songs 🤤😩

[sam @notsamhov]

just flossed my teeth. Siri play Who gon stop me

[Tom Segura AKA Mr. Ladybug @tomsegura]

This is hilarious 😂😂