Jamie Andrew

Writes for the purposes of staving off madness at Contributor to the mighty @DenofGeek

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

If you’re looking for a funny, occasionally crude, occasionally philosophical distillation of fatherhood that you can read in little bits on the toilet, my new book is for you. Dad or Alive: The Hope and Hell of Fatherhood https://t.co/MUPHSgCRvQ

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@LeoKearse As long as both the algorithm and Inspector Knacker understands that this challenge is undertaken in the spirit of pun-based japery with no hatred underpinning it, here we go:

Bomb Jewvi
Vanilla Ric-in
K-Pau
Hamassive Attack
Mujihadeen of the Stone Age

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

We'll be coming? Last time Scotland played in the world cup I was going. To the toilet. Endlessly. To violently shit myself half to death. Come with me! #wc26 #scotland https://t.co/zSRZmbYdoi

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

Yesterday's TV Presenters: A Journey Through Time & Space https://t.co/dVc5kZAcw0 #noeledmonds #jeremybeadle #dealornodeal #emu #rodhull

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

https://t.co/zu4MrcvWL9 A summer trip to puffin island off the coast of North Berwick, featuring mist, defiance and penguins.

[Jekyll&Hyde @SLNTnomore]

@catturd2 😎

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@BowhouseP5_4W It was worth the wait. I'm sure he'll have lots to tell you.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@BowhouseP5_4W C asked me to send these, from our visit to the Titanic museum.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@BowhouseP5_4W And this, from the nearby SS Nomadic, which is part of the Titanic's story.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@CopMoustache There must always be checks and balances on the police. They can't be allowed to act like authoritarian renegades. They must always act within the law. That being said, I'd have happily watched this officer beat this condescending wank to a bloody pulp like it was 1973.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

Caught a headline: FIVE CHARGED IN DEATH OF LIAM PAYNE.

Everyone talks about hip hop, but these boy bands are vicious as fuck.

[either that or Blyton has kicked things up a notch]

What next? WESTLIFE WHACKS BARLOW? (Barlow survives - he used his giant son as a human shield)

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@Jbanklestankle1 The Provolone Ranger

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

Much like P Diddy, that's my wrapping completely finished.

Merry Christmas everyone.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@mikemovies I think James Bond would be able to karate chop them before they got his pants down.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

I've never wanted to be on a boat more.

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

This is how the WORLD should be ♥️

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@PaulDock93 Might want to rethink this now.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@craig_m0808 Even the Germans are saying ca-nein to this scorn.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@GlesgaPaulmk6 Good news, though, she's just been cast as Ryder in the new live-action Paw Patrol movie.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@DrAllyLouks When you leave X please, please, PLEASE let your parting words be: 'Smell ya later.'

You owe it to humanity.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@CharleyGlasgow Exactly. You do you. You know what your son needs better than anyone else. And I hate all that 'THEY NEED TO BE IN THEIR OWN ROOMS WITH A WRITTEN RENT AGREEMENT BY THE AGE OF 3; IF THEY EVER CRY JUST IGNORE THEM OR THEY'LL BE GAY' shit.

[Jamie Andrew @nottheclimber]

@CharleyGlasgow My two still take turns to sleep in with me a lot of the time. It's usually Boomers and older that get sniffy about things like that, even though they all slept 85 to a bed in their day like something out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.