Tom Baker

Cunk On Earth, 8/10 Cats Does Countdown, Death To 2020, The Ranganation, Guessable, Late Night Mash

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

@HMRCcustomers I can’t get my SA302s to print out correctly - the PDFs do not have the top part of the document on them. They have done in the past but it seems to be missing on all of them now. Can this be remedied?

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

I’ve been put on a list (in a good way)

[David Nobbs Memorial Trust @NobbsMemorial]

Thanks to all our comedy industry readers who have read and marked this year's script entries, the 2024 DNMT New Comedy Writing longlist is here! Find out who made it here... https://t.co/yLfRO2a9pj

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

1908 - the year this country was taken over by the woke brigade

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

Not normally into acapella groups but I like the look of these guys

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

@thetrainline It’s one thing to refuse to refund the ticket I stupidly bought for the wrong day but there’s no need to mock me

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

@stu_mather_ A strong list of names that makes me sad to not be able to make it to Edinburgh. But what I’m really here to say is good news @MrJohnNorris is on here

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

When you realise you’re a two dimensional fish

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

SHOW YOURSELF COWARD

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

Other helpful things to say:
-Tell it would have been faster by car
-Correct them by saying it’s actually called ‘The London Snickers’
-Criticise the London Marathon for being too London-centric

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

If a colleague ran the London Marathon, remember to support them at work tomorrow.

1. Ask them if they won
2. When they say no, look disappointed

It will motivate them to do better in the future!

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

@samuelmmartin Jog on

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

Costing only £20, I was worried this Doctor Who costume might be poor quality but I think the results speak for themselves

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

If you want to come up with your own Rishi-style '5 pledges' just write down four things you should be doing anyway and finish with a promise to tip refugees into the ocean

[Mel Stride MP @MelJStride]

Great speech from @RishiSunak today. 5 vital pledges for our constituents. We will be held to account. We will deliver.

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

This year feels like God’s leftover half-ideas for short stories
- something about a billionaire buying Twitter so he can seem cool? But ends up with no likes?
- satire on democracy where a corrupt politician goes on a reality show, made to literally eat shit & poisoned etc

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

They’ll face either JPEG or TIFF in the semi-final

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

There's a contemporary artist out there worried someone is going to go up their work 'soup on canvas' and paint Van Gogh's sunflowers over it

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

Here we go everyone, another day growing that pie. Good luck!

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

I like the low ambition of the slogan 'Getting Britain Moving'.
The very minimum you'd expect from something that's alive.
Others that made the shortlist:
Checking Britain Has A Pulse
Shining A Torch In Britain's Eyes To Check For Brain Stem Death

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

Bagsied a good viewing spot for the funeral

[Tom Baker @notthetombaker]

Probably worth joining the enormo-queue just as practice for when we’re getting bread and firewood next year