A Leftist Thesaurus 📖 -
- Woman: Schrödinger’s victim—simultaneously empowered and oppressed, depending on the argument.
- Men: Toxic sludge of patriarchy, unless they’re winning drag shows or reciting pronouns.
- Donald Trump: Cheeto-dusted dictator; the Bad Orange Man who broke democracy by tweeting mean things.
- Elon Musk: Tesla-fied supervillain; a Nazi-coded billionaire who dares to let people speak.
- George Soros: Benevolent philanthropist; proof billionaires can be saints when they fund the "right" causes.
- Billionaires: Greedy parasites hoarding humanity’s wealth—unless they’re bankrolling progressive NGOs, then they’re visionaries.
- Immigration: A sacred river of future voters and taco truck owners; borders are just racist suggestions.
- Joe Biden: Grandpa Democracy; 81 million votes of pure decency, never mind the teleprompter stumbles.
- Kamala Harris: Cackling trailblazer; McDonald’s alum turned word-salad chef extraordinaire.
- Flying in Illegals: A humanitarian airlift of dreams—papers optional, compassion mandatory.
- Flying out Illegals: Cruel exile of the oppressed; see also: xenophobia.
- Climate Change: The apocalypse du jour; justifies taxing your breath and banning your steak.
- Capitalism: Evil incarnate, unless it’s selling rainbow flags or $20 oat milk lattes.
- Free Speech: A dog whistle for fascists—best replaced with curated "truth" from benevolent overlords.
- Elections: Sacred when we win, stolen when we don’t; math is optional.
- X Platform: Musk’s cesspool of hate; formerly Twitter, back when it was a utopia of blue checks.
What am I missing?
@cb_doge Imagine printing banners and poster boards the day before the IPO from “XYZ Banners” but you can’t afford food for your children and live under an Islamic mayor. You can’t make this up. Fugazi.
@4thOfJuly365 I never understood why our science teacher would rewrite his notes from beginning to end on that damn thing. He would start over for every period of class. 😂
@BOGBackup1 If Texas Tech’s QB can gamble on his own team and play this season with an injunction for a court date that’s next year, we should be able to get Aberdeen a year of eligibility. 🐊🫡💯
@WallStreetMav They stole our money but want Elon to be taxed 80% on money he made being a normal tax paying citizen. These people are sick. All of their posts were planned. I would love to see how many of them bought into the IPO of $SPCX. Screw Congress. 🖕🏻🫡🇺🇸
@FoxNews If Trump came out in support of the left and all the “struggles” they fight/unite for, the Democrats would flip Republican and publicly criticize his left leaving politics. It’s that simple. He can trigger TDS any moment he wants to see a meltdown. 😂🫡🇺🇸🎯
Imagine this moron running for President. Is he really serious about that? If he won, not that he would come close, would he be unable to attend Knicks games? Trump was a New Yorker long before this jackass was alive. It's amazing how no matter what Trump does, it triggers the TDS. Next they'll complain he isn't paying enough attention to his presidential duties and shouldn't be going to basketball games while Biden slept for 4 years and the media kissed Obama's ass for 8. Piss off SAS. Now I just want the Knicks to implode and lose 4 straight, but unfortunately, we all know that isn't happening.
@ItsRobbAllen I feel like you’re talking about the UMC in Hyde Park and I totally get it. I don’t care for the UMC as a whole either. They all lost their way. 🤷🏻👎🏻
Dear northerners, you can’t park here! Stay home and let us natives do the boating. We’ll let you know when it’s safe to come down and visit…which is never! 👀💀🖕🏻😂
P.S. It brings me great joy that @realDonaldTrump going to the Knicks game Monday night causes the area to be on lockdown preventing you from going to the local bars.