Roomate who's never brought a guy home brought a 5'5 bald and bearded guy who's built like a brick wall but didn't tell me so I'm dancing in the kitchen with my headphones on and I just see out of the corner of my eye what I thought was a dwarf from the hobbit and screamed
situationships are timeless. i hope to be in assisted living one day getting mixed signals from my geriatric lover during bingo. and i hope they have jello there
whenever a bride on say yes to the dress brought her husband to a fitting and he would be like “well, i want to see her in something SEXY and revealing” my third-grade brain would explode with rage & i would flip him off & then apologize to god for giving the middle finger