Nobody sees how hard it is to live in a body you can’t always trust. I’ve been living with MS for years. Some days I look completely fine, while inside I’m exhausted from fighting symptoms, uncertainty, and fear. I just keep going, even when it’s incredibly hard.
@gffyoq Maybe surviving doesn’t always look like strength. Sometimes it looks like becoming frighteningly good at pretending you’re fine. You keep moving, keep smiling, keep saying “I’m okay,” while somewhere underneath, a version of you is still trying to understand what happened.
I need to lose myself in booze and cigarettes.
I need to switch my brain off for a long, long while.
I need to cut ties with everything and everyone in my life and just disappear for a while, living like a drifter.
Whenever I find myself on the verge of caring for you, the universe places a warning at my feet, gently reminding me that I am about to make the same beautiful mistake again.