Patrick

Life gives me stories. I just post them. ☃️⛄️

@Uvalajnr

[Patrick @NoxParagraph]

I listed my wedding suit for $150 on Facebook Marketplace last week. Wrote three sentences in the description box, deleted them, and wrote this instead.

Tailored, never worn. Bought four months before my wedding date. The wedding never happened. Not because we broke up.

Three weeks out, I was watching my future father-in-law talk over my fiancée at dinner for the fourth time that night , cutting her off mid-sentence, answering questions that were asked to her, and something just clicked wrong in me.

[White @Uvalajnr]

My boyfriend called me at work and said,

“Don’t be angry, but I think I just bought us a house.”

I laughed.

He didn’t.

Apparently, he had gone to look at an apartment because our rent was increasing.

The agent showed him one place that was “too good to pass up.”

He signed something.

Then he called me.

I asked him the most obvious question:

“HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY?”

He went quiet.

Then said,

“That’s actually why I called you.”

🧵

[FlickFreak_ @Drew_Scarlet98]

The hospital gave me a surgery estimate for $14,800.

I nearly fell out of my chair.

I had gone to the emergency room because of severe abdominal pain.

After the scans, the doctor came in.

Doctor: “We need to remove your gallbladder.”

Me: “Today?”

Doctor: “Yes. I wouldn't recommend waiting.”

Me: “How much will it cost?”

He said the hospital billing office would handle that.

Twenty minutes later, someone handed me an estimate.

Surgery, anesthesia, hospital stay and medication:

$14,800.

I called my insurance company.

They told me I would still be responsible for several thousand dollars.

I looked at the doctor.

Me: “Is surgery my only option?”

Doctor: “It's the safest option.”

Me: “But is it the only option?”

He paused.

Doctor: “We don't have time to debate this.”

That answer made me nervous.

So I asked for my scan results.

[Patrick @NoxParagraph]

@itsmoradeke The appointment being moved was actually the least shocking part. Finding out your father had been hiding an entire daughter from you? That’s the kind of family secret that changes everything.

[Patrick @NoxParagraph]

I listed my wedding suit for $150 on Facebook Marketplace last week. Wrote three sentences in the description box, deleted them, and wrote this instead.

Tailored, never worn. Bought four months before my wedding date. The wedding never happened. Not because we broke up.

Three weeks out, I was watching my future father-in-law talk over my fiancée at dinner for the fourth time that night , cutting her off mid-sentence, answering questions that were asked to her, and something just clicked wrong in me.

[Moradeke🌸 @itsmoradeke]

Me: “Why are you moving my appointment?”

Stylist: “I’m sorry, but we have a very important client arriving.”

Me: “I’ve been waiting two weeks for this appointment.”

Stylist: “I know.”

Me: “Then why am I being pushed aside?”

She lowered her voice.

Stylist: “She’s a celebrity.”

Me: “So?”

Stylist: “We can’t keep her waiting.”

Me: “And apparently you don’t mind keeping me waiting.”

[Moradeke🌸 @itsmoradeke]

Me: “Why am I being asked to step aside?”

Security Officer: We need you to wait here.”

Me: But I’ve already been cleared.

Security Officer: “I know.

Me: Then what’s the problem?

He glanced behind me.

Security Officer: “The gentleman coming through has diplomatic clearance.”

Me: Okay. So what does that have to do with me?

[Meg @MegOfficiall]

Judge: “Why did you stop paying child support?”

Me: “Because I haven’t seen my children in six months.”

Judge: “How much are you behind?”

Me: “$15,000.”

The courtroom went silent.

My ex-wife immediately stood up. “He’s lying! He stopped paying because he’s irresponsible. He doesn’t care about those children.”

I looked at the judge. “Then ask her why she changed their school, blocked my number, moved without telling me, and refused every visitation order.”

My ex laughed. “He has no proof.”

I smiled. “Actually, I do.”

My lawyer handed the judge a folder containing bank statements, unanswered messages, court orders, school records, and security footage.

The footage showed me arriving at my children’s school every Friday with gifts, groceries, and school supplies.

But my ex always arrived before me and secretly took the children away.

Then my lawyer played one final recording..

[S writes 📝 @WrittenBy_SS]

Sarah noticed her best friend had suddenly stopped inviting her to anything.

At first, she didn't think much of it.
People get busy. Plans change.
But after a few weeks, she realized something was different.

She'd see pictures online of her friends going out for dinner, having drinks, or spending weekends together.

She wasn't being invited anymore.
Eventually, she asked her friend directly.

"Did I do something?"

Her friend looked uncomfortable.
"No. Why?"

"Because you guys keep making plans without me."

Her friend insisted that wasn't happening.
Then Sarah's birthday came around.

She had planned a small dinner and invited the same group of friends.
Two people canceled at the last minute.

Later that evening, Sarah opened Instagram and saw them at another restaurant together.

She didn't confront anyone.

The next morning, one of them accidentally sent Sarah a screenshot.

It was a message from their group chat.

And Sarah finally saw what had been happening.

The screenshot wasn't about Sarah.
That was almost worse.

They were discussing a birthday dinner for another friend, and someone had asked whether they should invite Sarah.

One person replied:

"I don't think we should. Things have been awkward lately."

Another person agreed.

Sarah kept reading.
Apparently, they thought she had been avoiding them because she hadn't shown up to several previous plans.

But Sarah had never been told about those plans.

She called the friend she trusted most and asked what was going on.

[Ana @Anathenumberone]

The taxi driver kept looking at me through the mirror. At first, I thought maybe something was wrong with my clothes.

After about ten minutes, he finally asked if I was heading to the hospital. I said no. He apologized and said I looked exactly like his daughter.

Then he started telling me about her. She had moved to another city two years ago, and they barely spoke anymore. When we reached my destination, he refused to take the full fare.

[Joy✨🎀 @nomindthem]

If you want me to have issues with you, just call me on video and ask me to keep my camera down.

You’ll hear things you’ve never heard before in your life!!

[ZTTW @ZtDstar]

I once had a friend who was always there for everyone.

Whenever someone needed money, advice, a ride, or just someone to talk to, they called him. He never complained.

One day, he was the one who needed help. He called a few people he had always helped, but nobody picked up.

That night, he sat alone and realized something painful: being useful to people is not the same as being important to them.

From that day, he stopped measuring friendships by how often people needed him. He started paying attention to who checked on him when he had nothing to offer.

That experience taught him a lesson he never forgot:

“Sometimes you don’t lose friends when you stop helping them. You simply discover who your real friends were.”

[Zara @Zarashidori]

Girls don't poop

[FlickFreak_ @Drew_Scarlet98]

My delivery company marked my $380 package as “delivered.”

I checked the tracking.

“Delivered to resident.”

I was home.

Nobody knocked.

I called customer service.

Me: “Your driver says my package was delivered, but I don't have it.”

Customer Service: “The driver confirmed delivery.”

Me: “Where?”

They gave me the address.

My address.

Then they sent me the delivery photo.

The package was sitting on my neighbor's porch.

I walked next door.

Me: “Hey, did my package get delivered here by mistake?”

My neighbor looked at me.

Neighbor: “Oh yeah. I took it inside.”

Me: “Can I have it?”

He shook his head.

Neighbor: “Not yet.”

I thought he was joking.

He wasn't.

[ABRAHAM @AbrahamXtra]

I can't see clearly, what's happening here? 🤔

[TheHost @TheHost_]

My grandmother’s house was being sold at auction after she went into full time care. The house had been in the family for 60 years and none of us had the money to buy it. I went just to be there, which in retrospect was a mistake because watching it sell to a developer was one of the most helpless feelings I have ever had.

Afterward a man came up to me in the car park. He had bought the house. He said he had seen me in the room and asked around and found out the history.

[XY📿* @Amakundi001]

coronas smell and taste like weed

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

My bank called me at 4:26 PM.
“Ma’am, your account has been frozen.”
“Why?”
“Someone attempted to close it.”
“I didn’t request that.”
“We know.”
“How?”
The representative hesitated.
“Because the person who came in had your identification.”
I felt confused.
“Then how do you know it wasn’t me?”
She lowered her voice.
“Because…

[𐙚𝒪𝓂𝑒𝓃𝒶♡💗 @Debonperc]

flirting is fun until both people realise neither of them is joking anymore😭😭😭.

[Crownking 🦇 👑 🦇 @Crownking1611]

A lot of you have a serious psychosis that was triggered in your early 20s, because of weed/ marijuana.

...that switch never shut off...

[Andyy @fw_andyyy]

What brand of edibles are best for sex?