Colin Dungus

Sarcastic self-confidence

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

My dad is an ICU doctor treating COVID-19 patients. In the past WEEK he has set more “I’ve never seen a heart rate/RBC count/etc. like this” records than in his decades-long career. What this virus does to the body is like “sticking your finger in an electric socket.” Stay home.

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

@mclancyd Oh you mean the Irish American poet, Malcolm McCormick?

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

My fiancée is an ER nurse in SF. Her department has had 20% of its staff quarantined in the last 10 days and they ran out of masks last week.

I’m trying to be supportive by sharing this AMAZING video but she won’t pick up the phone! Lol she must be napping.....again 😂❤️

[CBS News @CBSNews]

IMAGINE: These 25 celebrities in isolation sang "Imagine" by John Lennon to create this moving montage ❤️ https://t.co/5lmEzTXhdr

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

“This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with a guy in a CVS yelling, ‘how’re you out of fucking bubbly water?!’”

-T.S. Elliot

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Did that Beto guy drop out...? Was that a real thing?

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Gaga made better use of the Knights of Ren than J.J.!!!

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Starting conversations with, “I just finished binging Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘the goop lab...’” to see whomst of my friends still care about me

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

I haven’t tweeted in a while because I’ve been on a frustratingly meta adventure to steal the poster for National Treasure 3.

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Dropping everything and becoming a reggaeton rapper strictly because “Reggaeton for Your Sins” is a great name for an album—wish me luck🤞🏼

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Ten minutes into a completely silent, Uber Pool to LAX, the driver shatters the silence with, “ya know, I have a lot of masks in the trunk.”

It is 6am. There are two other riders in the car. We are twenty minutes from the airport.

Five stars.

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Of course the best celeb sighting I’ve had in LA happens at LAX!

The American Airlines terminal has a Dunkin’ Donuts—I’m freaking out 😍

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

I’m currently in a pickup truck Uber—if I’m wrong about THIS, what else have I been wrong about...

God? Love? Reality itself? Has my entire life just been a big fucking lie?

Lmk! My driver won’t answer me

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

I’ve never seen a pickup truck Uber, which, obviously, begs the question:

Do pickup trucks even exist or are they just right-wing propaganda?

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Get the fuck out of here, Au Bon Pain

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

Me and my henchman after he committed unspeakable atrocities against a family that lol’d at me

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

@Oz_S_P Cc’ing @PDonez65 for some good work-related content—hope all is well.

[sensitive pencil @Mrzack123]

Wait is this fire?

[sensitive pencil @Mrzack123]

How are you the silent majority when you never shut the fuck up?

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

My Uber driver keeps looking back at me. Think he has a crush on me or he doesn’t like me throwing up in the cup holders.

Either way, asking him out!!!

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

If you scream “Get him!” during a football game, I’m gonna assume you’re my mother and you know nothing about the sport

[Colin Dungus @NRGeticDiabetic]

I’ve never seen a pickup truck Uber, which, obviously, begs the question:

Do pickup trucks even exist or are they just right-wing propaganda?