The Breakfast King of Ohio

owner, proprietor, and master of operations at sturt family farms

[The Breakfast King of Ohio @ns_1997_]

How many of y'all knew that the Pillsbury Doughboy's real life, government given name is Poppin' Fresh? That is on his birth certificate

[The Breakfast King of Ohio @ns_1997_]

@BeingMattJones HBO will probably spend the next 20 years trying to replicate this but goddamn is it impossible

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Willem Dafoe will get his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame next week.

[jos @josiahhughes]

i just checked the santa tracker and it says he’s currently ovulating

[🐢✨America Is Musty✨🐢 @DragonflyJonez]

RIP to a #realhooper and a #realbeater 🫡

[D 🐷 N I E L @GayAndEvil]

i am fucking SICK of that ugly little green cunt

[President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro]

This and a black coffee is breakfast

[Tim Peaks @pangaeafan]

bartender: can i see some id?

me: yeah sure [opens purse and unleashes my scarab upon him]

[Jeppson’s Malört @JeppsonsMalort]

Just a little something to get through the day.

[The Breakfast King of Ohio @ns_1997_]

Filling the bong with pickle juice

[ʰ @easterngoblin]

Is blud serious rn

[h @ipodmacbook]

yeah im excited for dune 2.. dune 2 others as i would have them dune 2 me

[The Breakfast King of Ohio @ns_1997_]

What if we kissed at the Valvoline Instant Oil Change?

[The Breakfast King of Ohio @ns_1997_]

I just think it’s crazy that Domino’s let “plowing for pizza” get approved without question

[The Breakfast King of Ohio @ns_1997_]

To whoever was playing saxophone in the dark alley between inside the 5 and the sylvania police station, who hurt you?

[meg “Yooper” bitchell @MeganBitchell]

They got rid of the panty raid SpongeBob episode