Lmao this team can’t win a playoff series for their gotdam lives
Playoff appearances since 2000:
2000: swept
2001: swept
2007: blew a 3-1 lead
2011: swept
2012: blew a 3-0 lead
At 21st overall, The Edmonton Oilers select... Sam Gagner! Welcome to Edmonton, Sam! GM Matteo Mancini said about the pick, “Gagner brings depth at the center position, much needed depth might I add. This developing team will be stacked at every position in a few years.”
BREAKING: a 51 percent ownership stake in the Edmonton Oilers has been purchased by the Make-A-Wish Foundation after 9 year old Jacob Jefferson wished to own a pro sports team. His first order of business is to “use the black gear jerseys, but like, every game. They look cool.”
Vernace said to Fata, “I can’t wait to see your bum ass get traded, you can take your stupid unibrow and fuck off to Pittsburgh”. Fata then got up from his locker and punched Vernace in the gut.
After taking a 3-1 lead, the Oilers lost in a tough Game 7 defeat in overtime to the 2nd-seeded San Jose Sharks, 5-4. “This was a good season to build off of, and hopefully we make it further in the future”, said David Backes.
Horrible news from the Oilers locker room, a fight has broken out between teammates Drew Fata, who had two back-to-back penalties in Game 7 and Mike Vernace.
BREAKING: Andrew Ladd and a 2nd round pick have been traded to the Minnesota Wild, in exchange for Antii Niemi and Ryan Clowe. When asked to comment on the trade, captain Andy Greene said “holy fuck, we robbed the Wild”. Welcome to Edmonton, Antii and Ryan!
The Edmonton Oilers congratulate captain Andy Greene on making the 2nd team All-NHL, the first Oiler to win any individual award since Mats Sundin in 2000. Greene said about the achievement, “We might be allowed to try to win games by our dumbfuck GM next season, so it’s a start”
GM Matteo Mancini on the 2006 draft: “We were very pleased for Nick Foligno to fall to us. We consider him a franchise mainstay moving forward and feel he could be a leader in our rebuilding locker room.”
The Edmonton Oilers are pleased to announce our new arena food deal with the brilliant people at Saltfish Pizza, who bring delicious pizza and snacks to the table. Pun intended!
Slew of trades today.
Edmonton trades Ben Bishop, Olaf Kolzig and a 3rd for Jason Garrison, Jack Skille, Joe Vitale, Nathan Horton and a 4th. Bryzgalov is the goalie of the future.