sink pisser

gods most distracted driver

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

@theodorium_ @LevityMusic @onyxgarden regardless of what you think about if this kind of thing should be joked about, why is levity allowed to jump in and dictate what people can and cant say and joke about and what you can and cant say and do to be a good person in a community they’ve done nothing but bastardize?

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

its getting serious

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

wish someone loved me as much as the most mentally ill woman you know loves bojack horseman

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

my broke homie when i assassinate his family in front of him

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

she asked why her lips went numb and she tasted chemicals when we kissed i told her i be suckin on D batteries

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

removed “tinder” from her contact name

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

my bitch wilin cuz i took too long having my morning 7 tall boys and i was late dropping her off at work

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

shoutout to the guy in 7/11, who, in the same breath, asked me for a dollar and asked the cashier to charge his phone behind the counter, all while not averting his gaze away from the slot machine. true efficiency and productivity. a lost american value.

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

israel hardened the cheese on my pot rendering it difficult to clean sufficiently

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

routine blood work came back completely normal I CAN BINGE DRINK AND RIP BAG ANOTHER YEAR BABYYYYYY

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

@cloverlovania me telling my children about when wav ninja was taken from us

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

turns out women don’t like it when you kiss them goodnight and then proceed to do a lot of drugs and listen to slipknot while getting railed on mlb the show #RepealThe19th

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

@philaurdelphia fubo free trial that i will cancel tomorrow morning

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

@Marlins @whglawfirm love from philly <3

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

at the movies if anyone claps its on sight

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

every day i check into the gym and every day i don’t acknowledge the person behind the desk who i went to school with for a decade

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

just took 4 tries to make the gas pump lock work in front of the hoes

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

planet fitness bill hit this morning and didnt have enough for cool mint zyns….just another day in the miserable life of a white american male.

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

yea man

[sink pisser @nsmloz]

when u get double nose rings no one tells u how many boogers ur gonna have to scrape off them during allergy season