Nick Topping

What would Jimmy Buffett do?

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

If I actually slipped and fell on a shampoo bottle in the shower, would the hospital ever believe me?

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

I just got Invisalign and my teeth feel like they’re in jail

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

Why don’t toilets have lines on them to show you how much you’ve peed?

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

Zip ties are gods greatest invention

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

Brad is irate that I have a cough

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

Why does my state smell like shit

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

The neighbors hate me because I’m loud but it’s ok because I’m drunk

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

She’s going to email “Mr. Pokémon” and send her complaints

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

Maria is IRATE that normal is a typing in Pokémon. “It’s boring! There’s endless options, and they just default to normal. They have fairy, so why can’t they have cute type or friend typed? And why can’t Snorlax be sleepy typed? Brad would be sleepy/hungry type”

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

She said that the egg baby (Togepi) going from normal to fairy was an excellent choice. Egg baby could also be friend type as it is friend shaped

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

The thing they never tell you is that you can’t be depressed when you’re asleep

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

I’ve seen two jimmy johns ads already today and I think I know what I’m doing for lunch

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

One of my students drew frowny faces all over their exam. Must mean they did well with all that extra time they had!

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

When brad’s outside he comes over to me and complains about the wind like I can shut it off or something

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

*maria stuck on hold for a while

Meanwhile me in the other room jamming to the funky hold music:

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

@ambrosy_ma Everything is chrome in the future!

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

If I could not receive notifications from canvas at 1:18AM That would be wonderful

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

How do people get work done on a Friday?

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

@Tylerrfinn I don’t miss it. One sided relationship that was ultimately destructive

[Nick Topping @ntopping18]

I threw on an old petco shirt to wear while doing chores. My phone widget gave me directions to petco for the first time since I quit. Nothing is sacred