Jesse Hotline

How can I make your day?

Shitpost Crusader.

Hanging out, playing Nintendo.

Call me for yah free readin', meow!

[phone]

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

Happy International Don't Lick the Toaster Day!

((You're fucking welcome, America!))

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

#porktron

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Okay this is a video game adaptation I'll actually give a chance:

https://t.co/gKkzN1e8a0

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

Alright time to stir the pot and piss everyone off with a controversial post.

TOY STORY 2 WAS OKAY AT BEST

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

This tiny-ass little dog snores as loud as a freight train. How have I dealt with this for almost a decade.

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I still want higher incremented dollar coins in circulation. Don't tell me it's a counterfeiting issue when you can simply put an RFID in a coin for validation and authenticity.

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

@surface I come preaching the gospel of Wallpaper Engine, only four dollars for animated wallpaper! Available on Steam! https://t.co/PbU07RAB6m

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

Are you a single male with no children? Might I suggest investing that money you're saving from not spending it on dependents on a battle station that makes all your computing ~ 35% better?* Check this shit out!

https://t.co/Grg3Hyd81j

*Results may vary. Awesome Chair doesn't help if you suck at gaming or you're ugly. That's a you problem.

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

Come on down, get a deal at Bozo Shoppe! ((Sometimes)) Five dollahs! Follow for Bozoclown posts and some Ye Olde Bozo Shoppe quality Amazon Products! If I don't got it, you don't want it!

https://t.co/8VnJXf2wAd

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

For example, there's a tennis ball version but screw that! This puppy is ((Not a)) Potato Cannon! All you need is a can of hair spray and you've got yourself a spud launcher! For science! Show Ma how to play with your food!

https://t.co/AK5GabiFHi

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

"In fact, yes, there are such things as horse socks, madam. Also I was listening all along!"

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

@Windows *Shrek voice*
"Paint, has layers. Ogres, have layers!"

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

If I said,
"Does Jesse Hotline need to spam a bitch?"
Would you even know what I'm referencing?

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

Just looked it up, Snozzberries are defined as penis heads. Willy Wonka, you willy wanker.....

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

@MissyXMartinez THAT'S why only some of them tasted like Snozzberries.

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

@stevewilldoit Split it into pieces! Let 10 people have $5,000. I'll have one for the idea, 9 other awesome people can have some too. Pick them as you please 😝

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

I'll eat lobster if I'm hungry and it's offered to me. But it's a sea bug, a sea-floor scavenging cockroach... it's an ironic luxury to the max.

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

@CynizenTV @X I am empathetic with the point you're making. The format breeds idiocracy. However, the tool is neutral. It is dependant on how the users create and entertain themselves on it. China's TikTok is vastly different. Highly educational. The US version is dumbass shit and twerking.

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

🎶It's understated that all of my albums are already gold-plated
I'm platinum on half of em, I'm not even pretending I'm that sophisticated
I may be dated but I'm not jaded I'd rather be creative and make you captivated.
Success is already slated on my Dashboard Like I'm Vindicated and I'm gone..
🎶

[Jesse Hotline @nuancedterm]

🎶Bit Wizard finna shift a paradigm.
Gonna rip this mp3, go ahead and drop a dime.
Run it like a marathon, monster ego, King of Kongs
Don't think you can follow up, don't think we can split a song 🎶