potato bug

a butt, that likes butts and does butt things. 33/f/married/grad student

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

shit guys, did you know that probably 1 in 4 sun-like stars in the galaxy have earth-sized planets in their habitable zones? what the fuck, that's like 5,000,000,000 earths or something in the milky way alone, what the FUCK

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

discount drug mart has once again saved me the runaround. they had everything i need......... except u.... .

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

i totally support people having their own opinions about things. unless you think The Mummy (1999) is bad, in which case you are objectively wrong and i will fist fight you

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

april in the midwest is just an even-less-predictable quarter quell. every single day, will it be hot? cold? snowing? tsunami? unstoppable forest fire? acid fog? flock of screaming birds? anyone's guess. the gamemaker is just button mashing

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

i can be having the worst day ever, but then i go outside and see A Bird and i'm like "this is the best day of my life"

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

square enix file naming conventions:

final_FINAL_revised_v16_newfinal_ACTUALFINAL_fantasy.exe

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

human bodies are so weird, sometimes i have to sit on the toilet for like ten hours just to get out the tiniest nugget of a turd, and other times i'm like "oh i guess i could poop" and within two seconds my ass has released the fucking midgard serpent

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

"no woman can be smart AND beautiful AND nice"

u obviously have not met my bestie

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

spam emails to scientists: it is our GREAT HONOR to invite you to pay us 1000-2000 USD to submit to our journal/speak at our conference/be featured on our podcast. by the way, we do not offer financial assistance for travel or lodging.

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

@Naramaruru i am so sorry

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

does anyone else see barilla's spaghetti no. 5 and immediately hear lou bega in their head or am i the only one with this curse

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

@Neoscottie thanks!! 👍👍👍

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

HEY GUYS I DEFENDED MY THESIS, I'M OFFICIALLY A DOCTOR OF SPACE JUNK

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

@Naramaruru thank you!! 💖

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

@ChadOrndorf thanks man!! 💕

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

what he says: i'm... familiar with this problem
what he means: i spent five days straight browsing stack exchange trying to find the solution to this problem, crashed python eight times, and eventually broke down in tears

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

me: 😩
bff: omg how can i save u
me: make my dissertation finished lol
bff: i have.......... like 3 packs of fruit snacks???

i love her

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

some people have favorite star systems. i have a LEAST favorite, and it is KIC 6620003. get the fuck out of my data forever you asshole

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

@Khn420 a good protagonist always has one major character flaw

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

hey cheese twitter, can someone pls explain to me why parmesan is amazing but romano smells like a foot? thx in advance

[potato bug @nuclearcarrots]

@Khn420 no!!!!! is it supposed to??? is this one of those genetic things like cilantro tasting like soap?!?