alex lyon's #1 simp

cal //theym //good of heart, dumb of ass

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

mom... dad... im g*y

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

im just saying freud could have maybe been onto something about some stuff. like how 78% of my exes wear glasses. and so do both my parents

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

obsessed with how obsessed people in LA are with LA...... been here less than 24 hours, ive overheard california love twice and the bar tv is playing terminator

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

i wish again
to piss again
in michigan, again

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

not a single chili's in the state of oregon. and that's fine by me.......................... culver's however,

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

take me into your sweet warm embrace, minneapolis-st paul international airport buffalo wild wings

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

where my anarcho-revisionists at

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

genuinely i believe there is a causal relationship between the rise of unruly airline passengers and the decline of airport smoking lounges

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

airports were made for tipsy people. the slightly buzzed

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

[sweating profusely] what's updog is the golden retriever boyfriend of go piss girl

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

the question is not "is every airport power outlet weak" because obviously yes.... the question is who is profiting.... (Big Portables)

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

good morning to the dad double fisting beers at the 12:05pm showing of moana 2

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

its the most wonderful time of the year. u can listen to crank that (soulja boy) as many times as u want without it affecting ur spotify wrapped

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

soulja boy thursday

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

just heard about the J name stereotype... sick to my stomach

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

bumper sticker that says "i got my D&C at the DNC"

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

everybody in canada goes like 10-20 over the speed limit when its already like 100 but i guess the horses probably cant go that fast so you get away with it

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

if portland were truly a leftist utopia then i would be able to get bread and liquor at the same place

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

gg (gay grains)

[U.S. Postal Service @USPS]

mail

[alex lyon's #1 simp @nutritionalbees]

spending all my life in overcast cities i think about moving to california someday… but theres just so many goddamn californians there