lil acorn

🐀

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Pinning this tweet so you “twitter perverts” have the bar set reallll low

[Darth Erogenous @darth_erogenous]

My domineering parents set completely unattainable standards by telling me I should “do what makes me happy”. I envy my pampered diaspora friends, hothouse flowers afforded the simple metrics “become a lawyer”, “stop being gay”

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

clocking in at the old ‘Olfactory’ factory

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Sometime I be slitting goats throat just for me, just killing in vain brother, one love ❤️🙏🏻

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

*shouting across Ellen’s moat as guard begin to swarm my location*

I’ve got a new kid, he’s called the jizzler and he’s all sticky and such!!

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

I’m kinda like the 5th beatle, but for Maroon 5, i suggested maroon 6 but then Adam sprayed me with his acid and I had to take a step down from the electric banjo

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Hey gronk, whata da hell, hey gonk what is this?? Hey groank, please explain, hey gron what is this?? Gronky, what the hell am I seeing. Grok, context, now. Hey groank give me the run down of what I’m seeing, hey grank, what the helllll is all this rubbish, @ grak context ??? Hey

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Gotta get back into my tweeting mode, been smashing my head and penis against similar shaped and dense rocks to get in the “mood”

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

*Trying to impress a girl by reciting the “Choose life monologue” from train spotting but I forgot how it starts *

Pick lives

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

My first decree as mayor would be to hire giraffes as fire poles for the fire department to slide down :) second would be a harsh immigration policy.

[kelsie @iPad_Latino]

A sure sign that a chick is basic is when she’s obsessed with her dead grandparents like “8yrs today miss you always ❤️ “ on Facebook
Move on!!!!!

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

killing two girls with one cup

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

I parting the Red Sea, but I didn’t make a big song and dance about it

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Left my ivory tower, and think I left the oven on (heated via ivory), yeah everyone is doing it tough, poor people and normal people ✊🏻

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

I didn’t get into a vizier game to ‘scheme’, I do it for the love of the craft (whispering ulterior motives in masters ear)

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

Do you think members of the Kennedy family blame minor things on the Kennedy Curse? Like a delicious looking turkey sandwich is dry and they're just like "When will this nightmare be ovah"

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Couple of boys on the wrong side of the tracks made me do the cinnamon challenge and sack wacked me at the precise moment I took the spoon to my lips, nothing but respect for their timing and persuasive language

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Ironically the name ‘sunk cost fallacy’ is also a sunk cost fallacy, should have been called ‘suck cock phallically’

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

The 7 deadly sins, the Jackson five, three musketeers and a partridge in a pear tree, yep…it’s a boys weekend

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

I’m fiscally conservative but also socially conservative, they’re calling it “conservative”

[lil acorn @nuttinmybutt]

Putting a cork up my bum and farting it out !

*getting a call from my grandma*

“Yeah, yeah you saw the tweet, pretty epic-a-chino huh?”