small achievement, but before i used to feel like i couldn’t like certain things because they clashed with what i liked before and wanted a cohesive self
now, i’m comfortable enough with my selves to be be okay with my interests in two polarizing aesthetics x3
i didnt realize until it was too late, but i js realized i tried making an rpg for a 2 week game jam and thats why i was doing an abnormal amount of work, the project isnt that bad im just a dumbass living in scope hell
vent
i hate my relationship to food so much. i hate being hungry. i hate having speicfic foods that i like and many more to hate. i hate that not eating for extended period makes it harder to eat later. i hate that i have to eat. i hate my appetite, i hate my stomach, i hate food
it’s kinda really weird in that it makes me feel way too excited inside, even if it isn’t consensual, but atp idc if it’s manipulation i just want to feel that bad. highkey a vent atp it just makes me feel a certain way, in that i don’t think i could ever enjoy regular sex ever
tell who i am at any given moment or what emotions i am capable of feeling. double whammy but wow i am never going to do this again, lesson = LEARNED T__T
taking a vyvanse and ingesting various cups of coffee after with not sleeping properly for a week is kind of like torture and hell
there’s really no pride to be had in pushing myself this far to do work ,i would give anything to knock out and sleep right now
this was such a bad idea, i hadnt even slept yet for the day and i genuinely feel awful. this just became a vent, i’m genuinely in so much pain my body is so tired, my muscles ache, genuinely incapable of sleeping , and i wanan cry really hard but im so disoriented is hard to
ok tbh i kinda wanna try a diff style , that or im someone else i cant rlly tell im highkey tired and disoriented, but i quickly redrew the style id wanna draw for
ok thats it, going back to my assignments .