Germany: efficient cars, efficient trains, efficient… nothing in a shootout apparently.
First-ever pens loss at a WC, courtesy of Paraguay.
Netherlands: total football, total collapse. Missed pens like they forgot tulips need actual aim too. 🌷
Engineering and philosophy both failed the eye test today.
Martinelli’s 90+5 broke Japan hearts.
The Samurai Blue gave everything. Just not enough ⚔️🇯🇵
New Jersey is next.
The Seleção have been warned — they’re not invincible 🇧🇷
Everything I own is red today.
🔴 Stocks — red
🔴 Crypto — red
🔴 Gold — red
🔴 My will to check my phone — also red
My portfolio looks like a ketchup factory exploded 🍅📉
I diversified across 3 asset classes just to lose money in all 3 simultaneously. That takes talent actually.
This isn’t investing anymore. This is just donating to hedge funds and my net worth is having an identity crisis 😭
England vs Ghana: 0-0.
Kane had the goal gaping and volleyed it into the clouds ☁️
78% possession, 0.27 xG, and somehow 90 minutes of football was played.
Fish and chips. Warm beer. A 0-0 draw. Peak England experience.
#WorldCup2026
Portugal didn’t come to play. They came to conquer. 🇵🇹
5-0. Ronaldo with a brace. 41 years old and still writing history — first man EVER to score at six World Cups 🐐
Uzbekistan turned up with the silk road courage. Portugal sent them home with a geography lesson 💀
Austria 3-1 Jordan. Algeria 2-1 Jordan.
Eliminated. But let’s be real — a country that had never seen a World Cup just packed a 2,000-year-old Roman amphitheater at 3am to watch their boys 🏛️🇯🇴
That’s not a loss. That’s a beginning.
4 - Sweden are the first side to win their first game by 4+ goals (5-1) and then lose their second by 4+ goals (1-5) at a FIFA World Cup tournament since...
Sweden in 1938.
ABBA.
Chasing 463 at The Oval with no Stokes is like ordering a full English and getting served plain toast. 😭
Matt Henry didn’t even break a sweat. 11 wkts.
England got battered. Like their fish. 🐟💀🥝
Japan came to this World Cup and said: we don’t just serve sushi, we serve 4-0 demolitions 🇯🇵🍣
Ayase Ueda brace, history made — first AFC team EVER to score 4 in a WC game.
The cherry blossoms bloom beautiful… and ruthless 🌸💀
Deniz Undav spent months fighting for his Germany place. Seven Bundesliga goals to force his way back in.
Then comes off the bench at a World Cup and volleys Germany to victory. That’s the stuff. 🙌
Sweden brought Gyökeres AND Isak to a World Cup — two of the best strikers in Europe — and still couldn’t assemble a single goal until the 59th minute.
More instructions than an IKEA manual and still couldn’t put it together. Netherlands 4-1. 🔧😭
PAK-W needed 124 in a T20. Got bowled out for 100.
Lost to Bangladesh. By 23 runs. At a World Cup.
Pakistan Women’s cricket has been “developing” for 20 years — new coaches, new federations, new promises.
This is what that development looks like.
Same result. Different year. Different excuse.