in order to become a better person, you must first realize how horrible you really are. not in the dramatic sense, but in the quiet ways you sabotage yourself, repeat unhealthy patterns, hurt people who care about you, or tolerate what wounds you. you cannot grow if you keep pretending you’re innocent in the story you’ve created.
the fastest way to kill motivation is to make your identity depend on the outcome. it’s called ego involvement. when failing becomes failing as a person, your brain starts avoiding the whole thing. not because you don’t care, but because you care too much.
You should study what makes you defensive. The topic you avoid, the joke that irritates you, the question that feels insulting, the feedback you instantly reject. Defensiveness is usually the guard dog sitting in front of a weakness you have not trained yourself to face.
INSTEAD OF WATCHING AN HOUR OF NETFLIX TONIGHT.
This 1 hour Stanford lecture by Joel Peterson will teach you more about negotiation and getting what you want than most people learn in years.
Bookmark it and give it an hour, no matter what.
There is a Japanese Legend that says:
"Whether it's a machine, a house, or a relationship. Maintenance is always cheaper than repairing." What you don't maintain, you eventually lose.
After so many years of being lost media, Pokémon’s original introduction to the west during E3 1998 has been archived!
Check this historic moment where Pokémon is introduced, and thanks to the Video Game History Foundation for their incredible work at preserving gaming history.
Adopting a "do it right now" mentality has done wonders for my organization & discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later?Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip?Unpack right then. It's the small things.
Stop ignoring yourself. Fix your posture. Get a fresh hair cut.
Take care of your skin. Drink water. Eat food that gives you energy. Get fit. Stop looking sloppy. When you look good. You feel good. When you feel good. You do good. Put in the effort. Invest in yourself. It's good for your energy.
According to psychology, if you always feel like people don't really like you, it's probably not because they don't. It's
because you subconsciously filter out
the evidence that they do. It's called social hyper-vigilance. Usually, it comes from being bullied, never fully fitting in or
growing up in constant Criticism. Your brain learned to look for rejection before
connection.
In order to become a better person, you must first realize how horrible you really are. Not in the dramatic sense, but in the quiet ways you sabotage yourself, repeat unhealthy patterns, hurt people who care about you, or tolerate what wounds you. You cannot grow if you keep pretending you're innocent in the story you've created.
You need boredom. A lot of it. Start by going on walks without music. No stimulation. No distractions of any kind. If you learn to sit with your own thoughts, for long enough, in time they will start serving you. You'll start having ideas once again. You'll start developing an extreme sense of clarity that will shift you into the next stage of your life. All by being bored, which is pretty insane.
This is free advice from an expensive psychologist.
If you're an anxious person, do everything for fun. Go to a job interview for fun. Submit documents for fun. Start a blog for fun. Anxiety feeds on importance. Don't make everything a matter of life and death.
Confidence doesn't come from believing in yourself. It comes from having done the uncomfortable thing enough times that your nervous system stops flagging it as an emergency. Because nothing is actually hard, it's just unfamiliar.