AssLys

Management, Financial, Portfolios, Insurance, Computers, Black Leather Gloves.

[Snyder's Windbreaker @KSUWindbreaker]

Thankful for the rain today as it’ll be the first shower many of our Missourian guests have experienced in weeks 🙏🏻

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

“what would the founding fathers have to say abou-” you mean the guys with the leeches? any other medical decisions you wanna run by the leech guys

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

Let me be very clear: This ruling changes nothing in Minnesota today, tomorrow, or as long as I am governor. We will not turn back the clock on reproductive rights.

[Whataburger® @Whataburger]

Scary story in 5 words or less:

The clock read 11:01am.

[AssLys @oatey126]

Things I’ve completed this week:
1. A box of cheez-its.

[AssLys @oatey126]

@70sWestern @celseyjo_beneda @Allie_Dwyer @dlborg94 @ellyjoclary

[AssLys @oatey126]

Me to non-horse people: “make sure you walk wide around their butt!”
Me everyday: basically lays under 2 year olds to wrap the opposite leg so I don’t have to move.

[Jacob Reinecker @jsreinecker]

Of all the ridiculous things on Yellowstone, the most unrealistic thing on that ranch is a set of panels that are all the same color and not beat to shit

[Zane Bearden @ZaneBearden]

Lord i see what you’ve done for Turnpike….can i ask one more favor?

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

The Ohio State marching band trolled Michigan during their halftime performance 😂

(via @TBDBITL)

[AssLys @oatey126]

This is my first year since 1998 that I don’t have a first day of school…

[AssLys @oatey126]

Do I get a discount at the groomers since my dog only has 3 legs?

[AssLys @oatey126]

@gracie_paul Honestly. It was close. Just shows ya how shiet the other ones were

[AssLys @oatey126]

Best: Sorrel mare (honorable mention: gray gelding)
Worst: black gelding (honorable mention: chestnut gelding)

[AssLys @oatey126]

For the past 10 minutes my dad has been “discussing” pros and cons for potential new tires for my truck.. dude just tell me which ones to buy, I don’t have any information to contribute here.

[AssLys @oatey126]

@gracie_paul Necessary violence

[AssLys @oatey126]

Whoever approved the new Disney+ Black Beauty should be sent to a deserted island. With no sandals. #trash

[AssLys @oatey126]

New idea: Nickelodeon puts on all presidential debates. Any time a candidate speaks over time or over another candidate, boom! Slime falls from the ceiling all over them. I would make it through a full debate then #PresidentialDebate