mia ⚔️

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

keep trying to take a picture of the bites on my hand but this little asshole won’t stop biting

[Drew Levin @drewlevin]

surely letting keria have bard will go better this time

[wirco ! @infinitywasgone]

this is up there

[KT @cranberrysace]

this happened to me in real life

[Guilherme Nunes @guilhernunes_]

the frog fell asleep while trying to watch a critically acclaimed movie

[a @a8065287968522]

of course no one should kill themselves but my circumstances are different

[Bashley 🏳️‍⚧️ @thereal_bustin]

i was just thinking that

[JP @jpbrammer]

the phrase "lipstick on a pig" has always inspired a deep sadness in me. I think of the pig, looking forward to her big night out, and I bring myself to the verge of tears.

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

@heyitsandy_ that’s crazy it feels like the worst way to experience literally every one of those things

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

i don’t understand cruises or yachts. you can do all of that stuff without going on the sea

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

i keep watching american tv shows with english characters and thinking “wow that actor is doing a shit accent” and then i look them up and they’re english and they just actually talk like that

[fluttershy @hwrtyed]

#absentdaughterfigure

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

i may kill myself @HelloFreshUK please just leave me alone

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

does everyone else get these fun (not fun) texts from hello fresh that say you can opt out if you text them but then the number they give you doesn’t work or am i going slowly insane

[John Attridge @John_Attridge]

People don't seem to understand that "Chekhov's gun" is a metaphor. A gun doesn't literally have to go off in act 3. He's just saying that all plays should have guns in them

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

if i watched dumbo 100 times i genuinely believe that i would end up dead

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

Dumbo (1941) is 64 minutes long. Everyone in the replies is picking a 3 hour movie

[interpretation @materialcritic]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[bean smoothie™ @beansm00thie]

plan A is to lock in, plan B is to blow my shit smoove off

[mia ⚔️ @obscenerity]

every 5 years greys anatomy bravely asks the question “what if a doctor fell in love with a terminally ill patient” and every time i sit here crying