things my friends say

dedicated to my roommate Kerry "Buzz" W. | this account is run by rueben | texts my friends/family send me | i write out image descriptions

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

"wheres my coffee? ill die" -my professor

[MEMES By Tim 😮‍💨 @TimGotAim]

i wish we could have subtitles in real life because i really can’t hear anything anyone else is saying

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

"i dont wanna be moon sisters with any of you" -logan

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

sorry i took a lil napparino

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

"this is the devils game! actually its gods game, if this was the devils game id actually like it!" -logan about bingo

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

"it becomes a bullion cube for my soup, my human soup." -a comedian about bath bombs

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

me: my titty is ichy
ben: titchy???

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

"i have to clean my room because theres gonna be two big boys laying on my floor tomorrow" -ben

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

"if you read warriorcats as a child, you're a furry now."

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

me: WOAH WOAH WOAH
LEMON IS NOT [RATED] E FOR EVERYONE

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

"I like my men like I like my pizza: juicy, meaty, and all greasedup" ;))
-ben
(me: dislikes the message)

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

@skyybridges babey

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

@familiarfxces mmm i love u too

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

@familiarfxces hello ill talk with u

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

me: why are u so horny for dicks today
ben: Can you draw a giant pop tart then (babe I'm always horny for dicks)

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

me: would u say
shes a milk slut
ben: Hmmm ik you want me to but I'm afraid I cant use that vernacular to describe my grandma

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

me: maybe ill change my name to ben
ben: Dont do that I cant date another ben x.x they're too eccentric for my tastes
me: its too late
ben: Ew... I bet you have some really niche hobby like board games or marching band that consumes your life

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

me: I DONT LIKE IT
IM AFRAID OF POGOING
ITS TOO POWERFUL

[things my friends say @obscuretextsby]

me: *picture of chrizard in the draw me like one of ur french girl pose*
ben: O m g why that picture
me: its me being sexy