Kali Coulter

I work at a pet store. I am a magnet for awkward moments and shenanigans. And I have a parrot that backsasses me.

[Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug]

Sometimes you just need to get the fuck out of your head for a while.

[krp @KayArePea]

American Horror Story: My Sex Life

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

You know you're going places when your psychologist shows you ink blots in a therapy session and you start naming off pokemon.

[Words @wordstionary]

WHEN GUYS WEAR THAT ONE COLOGNE WHERE ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS BURY YOUR FACE IN THEIR CHEST AND SNIFF BECAUSE THEY SMELL THAT DAMN GOOD.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

Our store has been open since midnight. I've learned that the rudest people are usually the first wave of BlackFriday shoppers. Only 2hrs...

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

Subtweets are classy.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

@LongLivedDaKing I'm on the edge of my seat here!

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

And when u get the whole bed to yourself and u can't sleep because he's not obnoxiously smothering u with iron-tight cuddles in his sleep.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

You know you have the one when you get a couple days to yourself and you hate it cuz you miss it when he annoys you and plays w/ur earrings.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

Way to park like a jackass bro.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

It's the best kind of shower in my opinion.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

My boyfriend is jealous because all my ex girlfriends are hotter than his.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

I miss being hugged by this pretty lady. <\3 http://t.co/Ujg0NHNHdj

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away. ;)

[Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug]

It's so cold outside my nipples just said, 'Fuck this shit' and packed up & moved to Florida.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

Its not even #Thanksgiving yet!!

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

I know this is a cliche thing to say, but I do not want to go to work today.

[Kali Coulter @ObseRabbitHeart]

My friend left his phone at our store. This was a grand opportunity for my coworker to take a picture of his balls for his wallpaper.