Oddballs Deep

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

It's amazing to me how many people have recently discovered they are allergic to gluten and knowledge.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

@PunkAmma I try using it, but it scares most women away.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

Yes I'm 'Hot and Bothered' but to be fair, I'm bothered like all the time.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

If Youtube's taught me anything it's that I'm pretty much only attracted to makeup.
#makeuptutorial

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

#SarahSandersIsALiar She said these pants didn't make me look fat, but they totally do.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

Only 4 more days of netflix in my underwear before I get to eat pie with people I only marginally tolerate because of biological similarities and social norms. #ThanksgivingWeek

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

I can't tell if this hashtag is about what I want it to be about...? #NoVaseline

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

Finally, a way to deliver cookies to my house. #blessed #SubwayFreeDelivery

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

#YouWereFriendZonedWhen she asks you to pick her and her new boyfriend up at the airport.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

#UnlikelyQuidProQuo LITERALLY EVERY SEXUAL ENCOUNTER I'VE EVER HAD.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

@PriestPenemue At that point, you could have just faxed a hand drawn picture.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

I could time travel, but only forward and at normal pace. My name would be Carl or maybe Todd. #MyXMenNameAndPower

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

#IfTwitterWasTinder I'd still get the same amount of dong pics in my DM.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

#InThe90sThey had to take their nudes on a digital camera and upload them to AIM...on dial up.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

Is it in yet? #StartAnArgumentIn4Words

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

This Christmas, be kind to people. It's possible they are struggling as part of a fight club they can't tell you about, because the first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.
#christmascheer

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

How old am I? I'm "pack of flushable wipes next to the toilet" years old.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

It seems to me that blind people walk there dogs an awful lot.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

Is there a dating pool that's into straight bears? Asking for a friend.

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

Netflix and Chili #whatadifferencealettermakes

[Oddballs Deep @OddballsDeep]

Me: How can I let everyone know I'm really into my own beard AND a total douche bag?

The Internet: Have you seen beard ornaments?