oe

I assure you, this is not what they promised us when we started law school.

[oe @oeoao]

This may be my last day to play Dale Denton. Slapping bitches with subpoenas like what. #boringlawyertweets

[oe @oeoao]

Just when I thought I was home free, out of nowhere it's like DEFCON 1 up in this bitch. #boringlawyertweets

[oe @oeoao]

Old timer lawyer currently telling sexist jokes to the all-female domestic clerks. Not the greatest moment for The Greatest Generation.

[oe @oeoao]

Eating food given to the office by clients that aren't mine makes me nervous. For all I know they're disgruntled & trying to poison us.

[oe @oeoao]

The courthouse should be a deodorant-mandatory zone. #contemptforsmellypeopleatcourt

[oe @oeoao]

I have no patience for clients who piss off the judge & the GAL & then bitch about getting bad result. #youreapwhatyousow

[oe @oeoao]

Boss is worried about his phone getting hacked b/c he's getting hang-up voicemails. Old people + technology = hilarious. #boringlawyertweets

[oe @oeoao]

workplace law: the appropriateness of making a pass on a coworker is directly correlated to the attractiveness of the party making the pass

[oe @oeoao]

If you have to refinance your home to pay the attorney who you hired so you can keep your home, is it really worth it? #boringlawyertweets

[oe @oeoao]

When a man pays over $5k per month of a woman's bills, if he's not fucking her, she's fucking him. #doublemeaning

[oe @oeoao]

Boss manages to shout even louder when on his cell phone, I guess b/c he thinks he has to work harder to make his voice travel w/o wires.

[oe @oeoao]

Boss shouts when he's on speaker phone as if he has to push his voice through the phone to it's recipient through sheer volume.

[oe @oeoao]

You know it's a Friday when the "out to lunch, back at 1:30" sign is still on the Division door at 2:30. #notcomingback

[oe @oeoao]

I aspire to be just like the bomb-sniffing dog at court: highly trained, valuable, yet job involves sleeping all day & doing no actual work.

[oe @oeoao]

About to hit my third different courthouse in three different counties today. #boringlawyertweets #busylawyertweets

[oe @oeoao]

Is it wrong to hum "Cocaine" while flipping through the file of a client who got arrested for cocaine possession? #boringlawyertweets

[Nathan Gemayel @nathanglo]

Just left my client's house who was wearing a shirt that said,"My Lawyer Can Beat Up Your Lawyer." My client is 11-years-old. Mmm hmm.

[oe @oeoao]

Spotted: metal detector cops taking a huge pocket knife from a super old lady trying to go to court.

[oe @oeoao]

Best courthouse bathroom yet: 22nd Judicial Circuit. Soft TP, good h2o pressure, marble stalls & wood doors add a feeling of class. #poolog

[oe @oeoao]

Thanks for sending me back to court for the 3rd time today even though I told you everyone left at 3:00. Glad my time has no value to you.