Offensive Tom

Offensive Tom's official Twitter, come here and see what comedy needs right now... the obliteration of too soon

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

@AB_RN_WarRoom Alberta, stop trying so hard to make every topic political. Alberta is rolling out the vaccine passport on Nov 30 along with BC and several other provinces.

A little research can go a long way. Its alot easier if you become a little less high on gas fumes and coke though...

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

@Oil_Foundation @EdmontonOilers @REMAXca I want to thank @Oil_Foundation, @EdmontonOilers and @REMAXca for all they are doing. While I am not a broker or a realtor, I probably wont win, but it takes real courage to let 2020 have a worse sports tragedy than Kobe. #sportshistory2020

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

Someone should make a photocopier for macaroni art, then both parents can share the disappointment!

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

In Canada, the thefts just got real in Saskatchewan! Perogies have been stolen from the church and all people need to be asking.... how desperate does someone need to be to steal perogies from Jesus Hut? I hope the potato picker is caught soon! https://t.co/Q0fSL49aVw

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

Hey @FresnoCA_, Keep dat wax of of the kids! Don't you know that Unibrow lives matter!

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

@macleans, I'm not going to say I know a thing or two about rape... but I wanna say fictional peeps like James bond arent rapists. People need to stop believing that everything men do is rape. By promoting the BS instead of actual issues, you are raping my feed! #stopencouraging

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

Ohio, I know it has been a while since we spoke... I just wanted to let you know autistic areas are not usually known for their puzzle pieces. Maybe applewood should have a better sign, like an autistic President playing in the road?

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

New York is by far my favorite place right now... drug problems, no no no... We charge teens for pineapple high fives! #fruityhandjob

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

@Alberta411 Ahhh.... I see that Ewan McGregor fans in Calgary know how to spell too... kind of. Good job Calagry!

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

Uuugh he fingered me, right in the Urethra Franklin!

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

The moment I realize I have the best friends! See this sign and one friend says "hey, women have 2 washrooms now" super happy!

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

@Wendys i had to spend $1400 in bathroom repairs after eating at 1 of your restaurants. Maybe you should stop hiding laxatives in your beef.

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

#america, please please please, give us @realDonaldTrump. In return we will give you @RachelNotley. Shes totally cool i promise! Pfft. Haha

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

Check out a new song I put out for y'all today. For all you frozen or Full Metal Alchemist fans, you'll love it https://t.co/CuchKwWhJf

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

Today's a sad day in the music world as we lose another great icon. #DavidBowie died at his favorite age and sexual position, 69. RIP

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

@GeorgeLucasILM questions direction of the franchise under @Disney. 40 year old virgins dont mind potential child restraining orders/

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

#TatasforToys is this Tuesday. Remember Oregon, show your support or they will donate other toys to those poor children. #dollsnotdildos

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

This will happen every week until the world becomes funny on its own. Get laughing, world! https://t.co/PbJyIUaAD8

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

World events, Donald Trump, France, ISIS, Hitler and maybe more tonight on @OffensiveTom Talks out! Released at midnight MST tonight!

[Offensive Tom @OffensiveTom]

@anthonyjeselnik, I challenge you to a horrible contest of wit. The next horrible tragedy, Lets see who comes up with the best "SweetTweet"