Thinking about that time a man messaged me asking to hookup but keep it discreet so his wife didn’t find out and I said “you better pray she ain’t on Facebook because I’m finding her rn and sending this screenshot” and he said “ooooh off to save the world are ya?” LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO
@iTouchlessInc I am in need of a new trashcan head for my product but can’t get ahold of anyone via the phone for assistance! Can someone please contact me?
My new psychiatrist was like “I hate to ask this… but I see your last name is irish… do you have a family history of alcoholism?” And I couldn’t stop laughing
Accidentally let a “be careful!” slip while at the park with children and was lectured by someone telling me that phrasing is harmful for their development 😭 girl get off the internet
whenever a bride on say yes to the dress brought her husband to a fitting and he would be like “well, i want to see her in something SEXY and revealing” my third-grade brain would explode with rage & i would flip him off & then apologize to god for giving the middle finger
A young woman in East Texas gives birth in her car. When rushed to the hospital, doctors will quickly realize that the baby is not her own and neither is the blood she’s covered in.
Maternal Instinct — a new documentary — is now on Netflix.
ariana is still wrong for getting with that man from the start but damn he threw away his highschool sweetheart wife and newborn kid for no reason at all. good luck being divorced and also spongebob